chapter sixteen:

six months later:

Elizabeth

I can’t sleep worth shit tonight. I have school in the morning and it’s after midnight. Guess that’s what I get for sleeping all damn afternoon- not to mention Joseph making my belly all big and uncomfortable. Six, about ready to go on seven months but I still look cute. I’d kill to still be able to sleep on my stomach though. Let me just be grateful that I’m still able to sleep in the first place. I rolled over onto my left side from my back and snuggled into my blanket. I just can’t believe how fast these six months have gone by. So much has happened.. Gabbi moved all her furniture into storage and moved in with us. I actually really like her. Not to mention I love how happy she makes my dad. That’s what really matters. On a not so high note, Drew and Rodney got locked up. My dad won’t really tell me why though.. It must be serious. It’s been pretty quiet around here though. It’s different, but I guess it’s better for Joseph that it’s nice and calm. I don’t want him growing up in a hectic household. My dad even got out the game- for good. That makes me feel so much better, and safer. I know he went through a lot, but he did it some how.  

I hate nights like this where I can’t sleep and I just lay here and think. I’m surprised Khelo hasn’t called yet. He usually calls me every night. These past six months with him have been really great. He probably just fell asleep or something. I mean it’s probably good that I actually try and get some rest and not stay up on the phone all night. Right? … It’d still be nice to hear his voice though.

—

When I woke up, I was still tired. I didn’t want to get out of bed let alone be awake. School was gonna take forever. I checked my phone and I still didn’t have any message or calls from Khelo so I decided to call him myself. 

“Hello?”

“Goodmorning babe.”

“Morning..”

“You still picking me up?”

“Yeah. I gotta go, see you soon.”

He hung up and I starred at the phone confused. I shrugged it off and got out of bed to get ready.

About an hour later, I was decent enough to go outside. It was just one of those days where nothing looked good on me. I was sitting in my kitchen and heard Khelo beep his horn. I rolled my eyes and grabbed my bag. It was pretty windy outside so I did my best to run to the car. When I got in he was quiet. He seemed a little out of it. I mean, did I do something? He’s never acted like this. I leaned over for a kiss but he ignored it. 

“Well good morning to you, too.”

“Morning.”

It shocked me, it didn’t even phase him..

“Are you mad at me?”

“No..” He sighed.

“Did I do something wrong?”

“No Lizzy.”

“Well talk to me. What’s wrong? You didn’t call me last night, you didn’t want to talk this morning and now you won’t even kiss me?”

“It’s nothing.”

“Obviously it’s not. Look just pull the car over, I’ll walk the rest of the way.”

“You’re not walking.”

“Well I want out of the car. Pull over”

He didn’t say anything after that, he just kept driving. When he parked I got out of the car and sped off as fast as my belly would let me. 

“Lizzy..”

I ignored him and kept walking. He didn’t want to talk then, well I don’t want to talk now. I don’t need all this right now. I really can do without this stress. I was so caught up in my thoughts I didn’t realize he had caught up with me. He grabbed onto my arm.

“Lizzy, stop.”

“Leave me alone right now.”

“No. Look, I’m sorry.”

“Whatever.” I pulled my arm away from him and kept walking into the school. 

After my first class, I felt a little better talking to Belle. She was just as confused as I was. I rolled my eyes when I saw him waiting by my locker. I turned around to walk the other way but he ran after me again.

“Lizzy, stop running from me.”

“Look, I don’t want to talk to you right now.”

“Then just listen.. Yesterday my probation officer called me to check in when she found out about you she wasn’t really to thrilled. She said it just wasn’t the time.. that it was too soon for me to be with a pregnant girl. The courts wouldn’t see it as a good thing.”

“Why does it matter, It’s been over a year.”

“I know, I know.. “

“So are you trying to tell me something, cause if you are, tell me now so I stop wasting my time.”

He didn’t say anything and that was enough of an answer for me. I nodded at him and walked away. I don’t know who I was more upset at, his probation officer or him for biting into it. Yeah, it hurt but I don’t have time to put myself or Joseph through any drama. I guess I’m just going to have to understand that there will always be disappointments in life and there’s no stopping them. But I have something much, much bigger to look forward to now. I rubbed my belly as I walked into class.

When the bell rang for lunch, I wanted to get out of class as fast as possible. Belle had went home early so I was by myself. I didn’t mind too much right now. I just wanted to be alone with my thoughts. 

I put my headphones in and decided to go into the library instead of the lunchroom. I turned the corner from my class and ran right into Khelo.

“There you are.”

“Here I go” I tried to walk away be he stopped me.”What Khelo?”

“I wasn’t trying to say I didn’t want to be with you Lizzy, because I do.. I just thought I was over all of this bullshit and now it’s all coming back. Like I’m some monster who should never be with someone, let alone someone with a kid on the way.”

“Well I don’t think you’re a monster, okay? And you have to learn to ignore what other people say. Look at me.. I’m walking around here with a big belly and I don’t care what anyone says about me.”

“Lizzy, you don’t understand. I killed my girlfriend and my son because I made a stupid decision to get drunk and drive. That shit will never leave my conscience. It’s always gonna haunt me where ever I go.”

I cupped his face in my hands.

“Khe, what really matters is what’s inside, the person you are now- not the person you were that day. Because these past six months wasn’t with the monster you keep trying to call yourself. These past six months were with someone who stayed by my side through morning sickness, sleepless nights, doctor appointments, late night cravings, my moods, everything. If you’re a monster for anything, it’s for spoiling me. Okay? I don’t care what those people think. I know that I care for you way too much to even consider hearing what they have to say.” 

I kissed him and pulled him into a hug. He hugged onto me tight. Even my big belly wasn’t a match for that hug. I really hated that he cared so much about what others thought. 

We stayed hugged up for awhile. It felt nice to really care about someone and not have to hide it, not have to sneak around and be in the dark. I loved having him by my side and holding his hand in the hallway. I know it sounds cheesy or whatever but it’s the truth. It felt good to be in a relationship that was genuinely good. He’s not my mr. right now, he’s my mr. in it for the long haul. Nothing was changing that.

I was having really bad stomach pains after lunch so my dad said I could go home early. Before Khelo took me home, I went to my last two classes to get the make up work I’d be missing. 

“Babe I got to take a piss. I’ll be right back.”

I nodded at him as I looked over all the homework I had just picked up. I leaned up against the lockers across the hall from the bathroom so I could put the homework back into my folder. I looked up from my backpack for a second and was shocked- so shocked that I dropped all the papers.

“Baby, you miss me?” 

“Rodney..”

He stepped forward a little and laid his hand on my belly.

“Wow. You got big..”

I honestly really couldn’t believe what I was seeing right now. He looked so different thought. He was scruffy looking. He looked so much older. For some reason I felt really threatened by him.

“What are you doing here?”

“They let me out.. I’m finally out. Five months in there. It feels so good to be out.”

He stepped closer to me and I tried to back up but all I did was back up into a wall of lockers. I winced a little.

“Baby you okay?”

“Stop calling me that..” I whispered. 

I was really hoping Khelo would hurry up. I heard laughing and I looked around Rodney and saw Khelo walking out of the bathroom talking to some guy.

“Aight, I’ll catch you later Matty… Lizzy.. Everything okay?” He asked with a raised eyebrow.

“Yeah we’re fine here bro” Rodney answered casually. 

I nodded my head no.

“Baby will you help me pick this up.”

“Yeah” They both answered at the same time. Khelo chuckled when Rodney looked at him confused. He pushed past him and helped me pick up my homework. I stuffed it in my folder and he grabbed my backpack. 

“You ready?”

“Yeah.”

Rodney looked so confused. It’s like he forgot we broke up long before he got locked up.

“Lizzy what’s going on?”

“Rodney, what are you confused about? We broke up a long time before you got locked up. Remember Brooke?”

“But that’s my baby” He said pointing at my belly.

“Na. That’s my baby” Khelo said grabbing my hand. “Let’s go babe.”

“The fuck did you say?”

Khelo chuckled and clenched his jaw a little. 

“You ain’t been there through the morning sickness, the appointments, not shit. What’s she having? What’s she naming it?”

“Yeah, aight. You been there through all that and you know the answers.. but you sure you can handle this? You sure you ain’t gone kill them too?”

I could only imagine how mad he was because I was steaming. If I didn’t have this big belly right now I would have jumped on him.  I saw Khelo tightening his fists.

“Khe, no.” I grabbed onto his arm. “Baby let’s go”

He nodded.

“Lizzy..” Rodney said quietly as we started to walk away.

“What?” I snapped.

“What are the answers to the questions..”

“Boy. Joseph.” 

I was not expecting all of that and if I thought my stomach was hurting then, it was really hurting now.

Khelo:

I know what I said to him was fucked, but that little nigga took it way to far. I can’t afford all that drama right now and neither can Lizzy. But what I said, I meant it. That baby was mine in my heart. I been there through it all this far, and I ain’t going no where. I’m gone be the one in the delivery room, not him. 

What Lizzy told me though, really meant a lot. I always thought she’d let what everyone else said about me get to her. Turns out I was letting shit get to me when I had nothing to worry about. She’s my rida. Ain’t nothing gonna change that. 

“You want something to eat?”

“No. My stomach is really upset.”

“Aight. We almost home.”

“Khe..”

“Yeah?”

“Did you mean that.. do you really feel like this baby is yours”

“Yeah. I do.” 

“I wish it was yours. Then that idiot wouldn’t still be trying to push his way into my life.”

“You ain’t even got to worry about him. I think he understands.”

“So, if he’s out, do you think they let  Drew out, too?”

“Maybe.. Guess there’s only way to find out..” 

She nodded and sighed. I mean, this girl had never really lived a normal life. Her dad was one of the biggest dealers around, her ma died when she was a baby, she got knocked up young. But, I’m not one to judge. I got a past, too. 

“You staying over tonight?” She asked leaning over to rest on me.

“Yeah. I got an appointment though. So I’mma drop you off and go. But I’ll be back.”

“Oh. What’s the appointment for?”

“My P.O. She wants to talk.” I shrugged. “I’m tired of talking to her.”

“I bet. Just remember what I said Khe.” She said poking my sides making me jump.

“Aye crazy. You trying to get into an accident?” I asked laughing.

She just smiled at me. We pulled up to her house and I pulled over to let her out.

“Bye babe. I’ll be back soon.”

She kissed me and hopped out.

When I got to the office, I walked in and sat down.

“Khelo. You’re late.”

“Yeah. Look I got a lot to do.. So..”

“Fine. I’ll get right to it. You need to stop seeing this girl. It’s not looking good.”

“I don’t care. I’m not going to stop seeing her.  You act like I’m some monster. I made one bad decision Karen. One. That doesn’t mean I’m going to make it wit every relationship. I’m finally happy. Finally. Why you trying to mess that up!”

“I’m not.”

“Yes. You are.”

“It’s her parents.. Not me.”

“What?”

“Stormie’s parent’s.”

“Why do they even care!”

“Because you killed her daughter.”

I was done with the conversation when she said that. Done. I got up and left the office. For real? Why do her parents get to bust in my life and wreck shit? I was almost out to my car when Karen called after me. I turned around.

“What?”

“You have another meeting next week.. with them. They want to take you to court.”

I rolled my eyes and kept walking. Was it bad things happen to me day? All I want is to go home and lay with Lizzy. 

—

“Babe. I don’t get this!” She spat throwing her pencil. 

I picked up her pencil and laid it back on the table.

“You’re not even trying babe.” 

She folded her arms across her chest and pouted.

“Can we go watch t.v now?”

“No. Your math is almost done. Come on. Six more problems.” 

“I can’t do this. I’m too stupid.”

“You’re far from stupid Lizzy.”

“Yeah, that’s why I’m almost seven months pregnant at fifteen and can’t even do simple math.”

“You aren’t stupid Lizzy. What is stupid is that you would even consider yourself to be stupid. Yeah, you got a baby on the way, so what. You made one mistake, that don’t mean you’re stupid, it means you’re human.”

“I just can’t help but to think how different my life would be if I never ended up pregnant.”

“You’re gonna be a great mom. Don’t even worry about that. Babies are like a little miracle. It’s crazy how much love you feel for something so small.”

She cracked a little smile and rubbed her belly.

“I guess I’m a little scared and all this home work is really stressing me out..”

“Ain’t nothing to be scared about. Just think about how it’ll be worth it all just to hold him for the first time. His first step, first words”

“What was your sons first word?”

I chuckled.

“Park.”

I always hated talking about Joseph. It killed me inside. It ate me up everyday to know he’ll never grow up and live his own life because I made a mistake.. But I guess the advice I gave her is probably some I should take for myself. I walk around everyday hating the person I am, feeling like such a monster when I made one mistake.. Yeah, it was a huge mistake, but that don’t make me a terrible person. Just like her ending up pregnant doesn’t make her a stupid person.

I guess she could tell that I was really in my thoughts cause she scooted closer and hugged onto my side.

“You okay?”

“Yeah, I’m alright.. just thinking”

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to..”

“No, no. It’s good to talk about him. I shouldn’t lock him away in the back of my mind. It’s hard though.”

“Well, I think you were a great dad. And I think you’re going to be great with this little one, too” She said patting her belly.

She yawned stretched.

“How you tired babe? You ain’t did shit all day!”

She flipped me of and I winked at her.

“Don’t tease.”

“Whatever” she laughed .

A few minutes later her dad and Gabbi walked in.

“Hey daddy.”

“Hey Bitty. What’s going on lil man.”

“Not much. Making her do some homework.” 

Lizzy sucked her teeth at me. 

“Where were you guys Daddy?” she asked sneaking her stuff into her bag.

“Big Paul’s. He had a little party.”

I know she didn’t think I saw here but I saw Lizzy slowly sneaking away from the table.

“Hey where you going!” I asked getting up and rushing after her. I ended up catching her in the living room.

“Khe, please. I don’t wanna do no more tonight.”

“Fine. Don’t think I’mma forget about it. We gone finish it tomorrow.”

“Fine”

“Fine” I mimicked her . She flipped me off again. ” Like I said, don’t tease me” She stuck her tongue out at me and walked back into the kitchen. I followed with her. She stopped in her tracks. We had almost walked in on her dad and Gabbi arguing about something.

“Ty you really acting stupid right now! How are you gonna sit here and tell me you didn’t know about this?”

“Gab, I’m fucking serious right now. I was blind-sighted by all this tonight. You think I’m just  gone hide this ?”

“Well, I don’t really know. Would you?”

“No Gabbi! Fuck!”

I started to talk but Lizzy sh’d me. She sh’d me too loud I guess cause Her dad and Gabbi looked over at us.

“Uh, Lizzy, I think I should be going..”

She grabbed my hand. 

“No, Khelo, you don’t have to leave for the night, but would you run to the store for me?” Her dad asked.

I nodded my head yes. He handed me a 20 and a list. I kissed Lizzy and headed out. I wasn’t sure what kind of drama was going on but I was sure that I didn’t want to get caught in the middle of all that..

 

Ty:

How is this happening right now? How? I thought when I got out of the game I was getting rid of all this drama. I guess not.

Earlier after we went to Paul’s, we decided to get a drink so we went to a little restaurant . We were a few drinks is when some girl came up to me. She tapped me on the shoulder. 

“Wow. Ty, I never thought I’d get to see you again.”

“Uh, who are you?”

“Alexa..”

I racked my brain trying to think. The name sounded familiar, but I just wasn’t able to place her.

“Alexa?”

“Yeah. It was about eleven years ago. You told me your wife had died a few years back.. I was the first girl you’d been with since her.”

It came flooding back. I was at the bar, pretty drunk and just needed someone to talk to. She caught my eye and we ended hooking up. I never saw her after that.

“Yeah, okay. I remember you now. Can I help you”

She turned around and signaled for someone to come over to her. A young boy trotted up.e was a cute little kid.

“Ty, this is Ricky. Your son.”

My heart dropped and the air completely left my body. I wasn’t sure what to do. What was I supposed to do?

“What?” Me and Gabbi said at the same time.

“Yeah. You want a test, we’ll get one.”

“Yeah. I do.” 

I gave her my number and told her to call me. I had to get out of there.

Now, here I am at home and Gabbi don’t believe me that I didn’t know about him..

I don’t know if I should tell Bitty. I know it’s the right thing to do, but I don’t know if I’m up for all this drama right now..

“Dad, what’s going on?” Bitty asked coming up behind me. 

“Uh, Bitty sit down..”

She sat at the table with me and gave me a confused look.

“Bitty, a few years after your ma passed, I had a night with some girl, well tonight she saw me and told me her son was mine. He’s eleven years old, his name is Ricky..”

She didn’t seem to mad, or shocked.. excited actually.

“Really? Can I meet him?”

“You’re not mad?”

“No, things happen, daddy.” She said rubbing her belly. “Look at me..”

“Yeah, you right..”

“Well, if you want me to meet him, I don’t mind. Are you and Gab okay though?”

“We’ll be okay.. She just doesn’t believe that I didn’t know about him.”

“I believe you, daddy.”

“Thanks.”

I don’t know what I was going to do about all this.. But, I know I have to do something.. She’s gone call soon..

Elizabeth:

“What! What happened then?”

I shrugged.

“He walked away..”

Me and Belle were at my house and I was telling her what happened with Khelo.

“So he kissed you and just walked away?”

I nodded my head.

“Yeah. I didn’t see him for the rest of the day.. I just don’t get it. He goes from telling me to not talk to him to kissing me”

I sighed.

“I know he likes you. I mean, that’s obvious..”

“I mean I guess. I just don’t have the time for all that now.”

“Why? There’s always room for one more person who cares about you.”

“I still have to figure out where me and Rodney stand. I mean, he is the father .. I can’t just shut him out of my life.”

“No, but he doesn’t need to be in all aspects of it. Lizzy he’s no good for you. “

I know Rodney is no good for me. I wish I could just shut him out forever but I can’t. He will be in my baby’s life. I didn’t ask for any of this to happen. I’m only fifteen. But I know I did this and I have to take responsibility for it. Things would just be so much easier if there wasn’t a baby involved. 

I guess I just wish I would have really used my head when I thought I “loved” Rodney. I don’t even believe he meant it when he said he loved me. How could he love me? I mean, the way he’s been pushing me around lately and putting his hands on me makes me feel like he hates me, not loves me. 

“Rodney came up to me and told me I had to tell you to talk to him because he loved you and weather I liked it or not, you loved him too and that he was gonna get you back.”

I don’t think I could have had a more stank look on my face. That is ridiculous!

“What!” I rolled my eyes. I have half a mind to call him and give him a piece of my mind. 

“That’s what he told me.. You gonna get back with him?”

“No” I surprised myself with how fast I answered that question. 

I was so mad to hear that. Why does he get to act so cocky. He wants me back so bad but yet he brings some girl to the party and puts his hands all over me. 

He had another thing coming if he thought he was gonna win me back. 

Rodney:

“So you think this looks good?”

“Yeah, yeah. Looks good.”

“Rodney you didn’t even look.”

“Brooke you look great in everything.”

“Whatever. Why you been stuck in that stank attitude lately?”

“Because some little nigga trying to move in and play daddy on my spot. You just don’t understand.”

“No? Cause I only have a two year old daughter. Her dad left too. When he saw I was happy with someone else he came running back like he was dad of the year. You don’t understand, Rodney.”

She shook her head at me and picked up her bag.

“Where you going?”

“Home.”

“Thought we were going out?”

“I don’t much feel like being around you anymore.. Just do me a favor.. think about what you really want. Because if you play with her she gone keep that little one away from you for good. Be there for you baby if you want but don’t play with her. She’s too young for that.”

She walked away and slammed my bedroom door. I understood what she meant. But, why she need some other nigga in her face when she having my baby. She shouldn’t need no one anyway. 

Maybe I don’t get it.. 

I really want to call Lizzy but I doubt she’d answer anyway. I never started feeling like things were confusing and complicated until I got with Brooke. I feel like I have to choose. I don’t want to loose Brooke but if I loose Lizzy I might loose my kid for good. 

I knew she would more than likely be at home so I decided to go over there and talk.. I knew I had to be civil.

When I pulled up to her house I decided to walk on up. I’m not sure if her dad or anyone else knew I was the dad or not but, I had to talk to her. I walked on up and knocked on the door. I heard giggles and laughing. The door opened up to Belle. She was smiling. When she saw me her smile turned to a frown. 

“What”

“I need to talk to Lizzy.”

“No. Go on.”

I saw Lizzy come up behind her.

“It’s okay Belle.. we do need to talk about a few things.”

“Okay.. Well, I’m gonna head home. Call me if you need anything.” Belle smiled at her and pushed passed me out the front door.

I walked in and sat down on the couch.

“Look, Lizzy…”

“No let me start… Rodney, I don’t want to be with you. Not in anyway. I want you to be here for the baby but that’s about it..”

To say that I was pissed to hear that was an understatement. She was what I wanted. Before I did something I would regret I left. I stormed out of the house and jumped into my car. I sped off down the road. Fuck that. Fuck everything. This is a package deal. She don’t want me then I ain’t about to stick around for no damn little baby that I don’t want in the first place. 

When I got home my phone started to buzz with a call.

“Yeah?”

“Yo. You trying to party tonight?”

“Fuck yeah.”

“I’ll hit you up with details a little later.”

“Yeah, aight.”

I was more than needing a few drinks. I was in that mode where I don’t really give two fucks. 

—

When I pulled up to the party it already looked packed. I chuckled when I seen two bitches run out the house in they panties. Oh yeah, I’m about to have a good night.

When I walked in my cousin who was throwing the party. He walked up to me with a drink in his hand for me.

“Here. You got a lot of catching up to do” he chuckled.

“What’s this?”

“Man, just drink it.”

I rolled my eyes and downed the cup of whatever. It was mixed with juice so I had no idea what I was in it. As soon as I brought the cup down from my lips he was handing me another cup. Guess he was really expecting me to catch up to him. I followed him into the kitchen and saw Brooke leaning against the counter talking to one of her friends. I wasn’t sure if I should go over there. I wasn’t sure if after what had happened earlier if we were even still talking. 

When she saw me she smiled. I noticed there was a cup in her hand so I wasn’t sure if she was smiling at me or if it was the alcohol making her smile at me. Either way, it made me smile, too. I was surprised when I saw her walking over to me. I chuckled a little when she stumbled. She ended up stumbling right into my arms. 

“Hey handsome.” She slurred into my chest.

“Hey beautiful” 

She wrapped her arms around my waist and just hugged me for a minute. It was a nice feeling honestly. I think this is why she was so much easier than Lizzy. I don’t have to sneak around with her or watch who’s around when I talk to her. It’s just easier. She was just better, simpler. 

“Come on, let’s go upstairs..” She whispered against my cheek.

“What?” Now I know it’s the alcohol in her talking. 

“Come on, let’s go.”

“Na.. Brooke..”

“Baby come on.” She looked up at me and pouted.

She grabbed me and stumbled up the stairs. I picked her up so she wouldn’t fall.  I took her to the nearest room and sat her on the bed. I was really hoping she would just lay down and sleep this off but I know she had other plans in mind. She grabbed my hands and tried to pull me down on the bed with her.

Somehow she managed to get me down and get on top of me. She started sucking all over my neck. I’ll admit it was feeling good ass hell but I wasn’t about to let things go down like this.

“Brooke, stop.”

“Come on, baby. Just real fast.”

“Na.”

“Baby!” she tired to take off my shirt but I stopped her.

“Na, B. Things ain’t going sown like this..”

She huffed at me.

“You really are leaving me for her aren’t you?” She pouted.  

I lifted her chin so she wasn’t bowing her head. 

“I ain’t  going no where. You sad cause I ain’t trying to fuck you why you all drunk. Chin up. I wouldn’t be in here right now if I didn’t care about you B. But you have to understand that she having my baby and you out of everyone in my life should know that he or she will come first. Just like Jade does for you.”

She smiled faintly at me. 

“I’m sorry” She poked out her bottom lip and pouted. 

“It’s aight. Come here.” She laid down on my chest and hugged me. It was nice that she understands- she’s knows exactly what I mean because of Jade and that’s a lot of help. 

One thing I do know, I’m the father of that baby. Weather me and Lizzy are together or not doesn’t change that. There’s not a chance in hell someone else is gone be playing daddy. Not as long as I’m living and breathing. 

Khelo:

I think I’ve practiced this conversation over and over in my head at least a dozen times.. I think It’s finally time I tell Lizzy the truth.  She’s all I been thinking about since that kiss. 

I messaged her on face book earlier and told her to meet me at this party tonight to talk. I didn’t think she would agree. I was happy she did tho. I know I told her I didn’t owe her any answers, but I do.

I been at this party for about an hour now and no sign of her. I  hope she decided not to come at the last minute. I wouldn’t blame her tho. I was sitting by myself just looking around at everyone when someone tapped on my shoulder. i turned around and saw Lizzy standing there.

“You came..”

“Yeah. I said I would.” She smiled. 

I stood up and pulled her into a quick hug. I Grabbed her hand and took her outside to the front porch. I took a seat on a bench and she did the same sitting next to me. 

“So..” She started breaking the silence.

I had all the words planned out in my head I just couldn’t get them out for some reason. It’s like I just couldn’t do it. 

We sat there for a few minutes quietly. A few minutes turned into ten, then fifteen.

“Well, I told Belle I wouldn’t be long so, just let me know when your really ready to talk.”

She stood up to walk away. I grabbed her hand and stopping her.

“Please. Just sit..” I took a deep breath as she sat down. “I used to have it all. The best friends, the best girl friend.. I even ended up having a baby with her..We had the perfect relationship. Everything in my life was perfect. It was a few days after my sons second birthday. Me and Stormie had been fighting all damn day. I just picked them up from her ma’s house, and I’ll admit, I was pretty buzzed. I wasn’t used to fighting with her so I turned to drinking to deal with it. She was yelling at me cause I was late getting her and we were going to be late to wherever we were going. I lost focused and lost control of the car. The car flipped seven times. We landed in a ditch. I woke up two days later in ICU. I didn’t really remember much. First thing I asked was if I could see them. It killed me when they said Stormie died on scene. My son had died in the hospital just a few hours before I woke up. He had major brain damages. When people heard about it they only heard that I was drunk. Apparently she was talking to some other guy. She planned on leaving me for him. There were messages on her face book and phone. They all said I did it on purpose because I didn’t want her to leave me.” I sniffled. I didn’t even realize I was crying until she had wiped a tear from my cheek.  ”That’s not true. I mean, I would never try and kill someone I loved.”

“I believe you..” She whispered. “What was your sons name?”

“Joseph.” 

Her eyes lit up hugely. Not sure if it was because of surprise or happiness.

“So that’s why you got upset at the park that day?”

I nodded.

“My son meant the world to me.. “ 

I didn’t have much to say after that. Talking about Stormie and my son always tore me up inside. She grabbed my hand and just sat there with me silently. No one has ever really let me explain what happened that night. It always hurt to go back on it but this time, it felt good to just get it off my chest. It was nice to have someone just listen to me and not judge me with every word that left my mouth. Now someone knows the true story.

“So why were you pushing me away?”

“I just thought you would end up judging me like the rest.”

“I won’t judge you. Ever. I promise.” She smiled. “Well. I guess I should go find Belle.” She let go of my hand standing up. I really didn’t want her to go. 

“Wait..”

“What?”

“Well I just didn’t want you to go..”

“Well, I really appreciate you telling me. I know it took a lot for you to open up about it.” I stood up getting face to face with her. 

She looked back and forth from my eyes to my lips. I knew she wanted me to kiss her. I knew I wanted to kiss her.. I just didn’t know if it was the right thing to do.  I moved in a little closer to her. Just as I was bout to kiss her someone busted out to the front porch in a panic.

“Lizzy, you should come get Belle…”

Lizzy let go of my hand and followed the girl back inside. I sighed and sat back down on the bench. A few minutes later Lizzy came back out trying to keep Belle on her feet the best she could. Belle looked a mess.

“God what is wrong with you Belle! Don’t you know better.”

I stood up confused.

“Lizzy what’s going on?”

“Ask stupid over here. Mrs I think I’m grown enough to snort some coke”

Don’t get me wrong, I’ve done my share of smoking and drinking but that’s as far as I’ll ever go. Coke is just a little too extreme for me.

“Here. Give her here.”

“I can’t take her home like this. Her ma will flip and my dad can’t find out I went to a party!”

I picked her up and cradled her like a baby.

“We can go to my house for the night..”

“Okay..”

I was surprised at how fast she agreed. This was gonna be one long night.

Gabbi:

Trey left for the first time since he came. He told me if I tried to leave he’d find out and kill me. He took my cell and my house phone and took a bat to my laptop. It’s like I’m a prisoner in my own home. 

Ty probably hates me by now. He stopped coming by and he stopped trying to call. I just wish he wouldn’t give up on me.

I looked outside my front window and saw a car parked in front. I knew he had  someone watching me. He was too busy on his phone to notice what I was doing anyway. I nearly slapped myself when I remembered my basement. I grabbed my purse although it was kind of useless with no phone and no keys. I rushed down to my basement and shimmied out of the window that lead to my backyard. I went straight to the fence that lead into my neighbors back yard and hopped over. I walked through and got out at the front. I looked around being sure that no on was there. When is was clear I ran. I didn’t really know where I was running to but I ran. It was dark and getting pretty windy. I wanted to go to Ty’s but I figured he wouldn’t want to see me. It was only getting colder though and I was starting to think it was my last option. I was only a few streets away. I think I knew where I was going the whole time…

I walked up and knocked on his front door. He opened it and gave me a stank look.

“Man, what?”

“Ty. Ty, please just listen. Please.”

“Why should I give a fuck about anything you got to say?”

I wiped a few tears away and sighed. 

“Come back with me and you’ll see. I promise. You’ll see.  Please. I really need your help”

I think he really saw it in my eyes that I really needed him. 

“Let me get my keys.”

I nodded and watched him walk back inside. He came back a few seconds later. He even brought a jacket for me and wrapped it around me.

“Where we going?”

“My house.. the back way”

He looked at me confused. I probably sounded insane right now. I’m sure I looked pretty insane too. I directed him the back way and lead in through my neighbors back yard. When we climbed through the basement I heard his voice upstairs. My heart dropped. I could only imagine how mad he was. 

“What’s going on Gabbi?”

“My ex, Trey. He used to hit on me a lot.. I finally got brave enough to call the cops and have a restraining order put on him. It’s been about a year.. Then he came back. He’s been keeping me in my own damn house. He made me tell you to leave when you came knocking. He took my cell and my house phone. He even took a baseball bat to my laptop. For the past week he’s been fucking me until I can’t walk and hitting me around and making me walk around naked. If what I don’t cook him is good enough he smacks me around some more and fucks me some more.”

I could see the anger in his face and honestly, I would be scared to be the one he was made at right now. Before I could say anything else, he was storming up the stairs. 

“Stay here”

I nodded and watched him fade into the dark. I heard a lot of yelling a lot of tussling then I heard two gunshots..

Elizabeth:

When we got to Khelo’s house, Belle was out of control. I was so mad at her. My friend Kate told me she took two lines of coke and popped like ten pills and took only god knows how many shots. I have no clue what got into her. It took us about an hour to finally get her asleep. 

“She should sleep through the night now that her body is starting to come down off the high” He said as we walked into the living room.

I sighed with relief.

“Thank God.”

“Does she always get like this when she parties?”

“No.  She hardly ever even drinks.”

He got quiet after that. I was pretty tired myself so I stayed kind of quiet. I notice he was starring at me. He looked pretty concentrated, too.

“What are you thinking about?” I asked breaking the silence.

“You” He answered simply. 

“Me? What about me?”

“I didn’t get to do something earlier..”

I knew what he meant, but of coarse I went a long with it.

“What’s that?”

He leaned in closer to me and kissed me lightly. Definitely not what I expected. He pulled away smiling. He saw the confused look on my face. He leaned back in.

“Leave em wanting more” He whispered with a little chuckle.

Let me just tell you he had the sexiest voice ever. My pregnant hormones  were off the radar right now. 

I’m more than positive he knew I wanted more than that. I think he wanted me to make the move this time though- so I did.  I leaned in and kissed him definitely harder than he kissed me. It felt so right, too. One thing lead to another and we were all over each other. He was hovering over top of me. If I thought my hormones were off the radar after that first kiss, I couldn’t even explain where they were at now.. I felt like I was ready to explode. I put my hands up to his chest and pushed him off me a little.

“Stop, stop, stop..” I said through breaths.

“Did I do something wrong?” It was kind of cute the way he panicked. 

“No. But if we keep going I’m gonna explode.” He chuckled a little and eyed over my body.

“I ain’t did nothing yet.”

“Yeah, well my pregnant hormones beg to differ..” 

“You don’t even really look pregnant..”

“I’m about two months.” 

He pointed to my shirt.

“Can I?”

I nodded yes. He lifted my shirt and put his hand on the little bump. 

“It’s cute” He said smiling.

“Oh my gosh, no it’s not!” I laughed. “I’m gonna get fat” I pouted. 

“I bet you’ll still look cute tho” I just smiled at him. “Look, you uhm. You wanna head to bed? It’s getting pretty late” 

“Uhm..”

“No funny business. I promise.”

“Okay.” 

He got up and I followed his lead up the stairs.  He went to his dresser and pulled out some sweats and a t shirt.

“Here you go.”

“Thanks.”

“The bathroom is right there.” He pointed across the hall. I nodded and went to go change. The whole time I was thinking how unreal this felt. 

I’m not sure where tonight leaves things. I guess I’ll find out soon though. For right now, I just want to sleep.

 

 

tyga’s new album tho!
#killedit

Fourteen:

Elizabeth:

I am really not excited for it to already be Monday. All I wanna do is sleep. I didn’t really care to get ready so I threw on some decent clothes and put my hair up in a bun. 

“Bitty you ready?” My dad asked peeking his head in my room.

“Yeah. I guess.”

“Don’t forget you leaving early today. You have an appointment.” he said as I followed him down the stairs. When he said that I instantly got mad.

“I thought I already told you I-“

“Chill tiger. We need to see about getting you on your daily meds you need.”

“Can I just stay home today?”

“No. You missed enough school. You gone be missing more here soon.”

“Fine. Let’s go.”

I closed my eyes on the ride to school I wanted to go back to sleep but the ride wasn’t long enough.

“Come on Bitty. You here. Wake up”

I sighed and undid my seat belt. 

“Bye daddy.”

“Love you.”

I smiled and grabbed my bag. When I walked into school I felt like everyone was starring me down. It was weird. Belle came up to me and linked her arm with mine.

“It is true?” She whispered to me as we continued down the hallway.

“What? Belle why is everyone looking at me like that?”

“Everyone is saying you went upstairs with Khelo at the party and you cheated on Rodney after you told him you were pregnant.”

“What?! Khleo and I didn’t even do anything!”

“Rodney said he saw the guy half naked…”

“No, no, no! I was coughing and I spilled his drink on him. Rodney walked in when Khelo was changing his shirt. Nothing happened!”

To say I was freaking out was an understatement. I can only imagine what people are really thinking of me.  We walked into class and all eyes were on me. I felt hot and I was getting light headed. Everyone was whispering and laughing and starring hard. It was making me flustered. I got really nervous and rushed out of the class. I speed walked down the hallway and when I turned the corner I bumped into someone making me fall to the ground. I looked up and it was none other than Khelo. 

“My bad, ma.” He extended his hand to me and helped me up.  

“It’s alright.”

“You good? You look a mess..”

Wow.. thanks…

“I’m fine..”

“Lying ass.”

“Whatever.”

“Come on.”

He grabbed my hand and lead me out the side doors of the school to the parking lot. I figured we were going to his car. He stopped at a nice red car and let me in. He got in after shutting my door and started up the car. 

“Where you wanna go?”

“Don’t matter” I said licking my lips and keeping my head facing forwards. 

I’ll admit I was nervous. I mean, look what people are saying after we hung out once at a party.. We drove in silence for a few minutes. He pulled up to a park and shut off the car. I got out and stretched walking over to a bench. He followed and sat down next to me.

“Why you bring me here?”

“I come here to think a lot.”

I stayed quiet a minute and he sighed.

“Why are people making such a big deal about me being in a room with you?”

“Cause they like you. And I’m not a guy that you want to get mixed up with..”

“What?”

“Nothing. Never mind. Is it true though?”

“What?”

“You really having Rodney baby?”

I rolled my eyes. I was trying to forget it was his..

“Yeah..”

“You ain’t sound so thrilled..”

“He blew me off and got with that blonde girl. He found out that night I was pregnant. That’s why he went all dumb and that’s why he steady telling people some bullshit about us.”

“Shit for real?” He asked shaking his head like he was disappointed or something. “You gone keep it though?”

“Yes!” I don’t think I could have smiled any harder. I already loved my little baby.

“Picked out any names?”

“Joseph” I smiled.

He didn’t though. His smile faded and he looked as if he were either pissed or ready to cry.

“Did I say something wrong?”

“Na. We got to go”

“Is everything okay?”

He ignored me and got in the car. He didn’t talk to me the entire way back to school either. When he pulled up in front of school he wasn’t even gonna tell me bye.

“We should do this again?” I said trying to figure out what was wrong still. I think it was something I said..but what?

“Na.”

“Oh. Okay.”

“Look it’s not you.. I’m just really not someone you want to get involved with. Really. I’m bad news..”

I stepped out of the car confused. I walked the empty halls waiting for the bell to ring so I could got no my second class of the day.. It really bugged me that I couldn’t figure out what I did. Like what did I say? I really want to know why he thinks of himself as some terrible person.. he seemed really nice and sweet to me.. except for when he hit on me! 

I just hoped he was still talking to me. I really enjoyed the time with him today. He’s different. I don’t feel like I have to put on a show for him.. He stood up for me and he took me away when I was upset. Talking with him really made me feel better. Even though It’s all going to start all over when the bell rings. I don’t see why it matters so much who I spent time with at the party.. 

When the bell rang I looked around for Belle. I wouldn’t mind all the rudeness from other people if I had her with me. I felt someone tap my shoulder and I figured it was her. I turned around and Rolled my eyes to see Rodney smiling in my face.

“What?”

“I missed you baby..” He went in to kiss me and I dodged it.

“Leave me alone. I hate you Rodney.”

He grabbed my arms and pushed me against some lockers. I don’t know what hurt more my wrists from his hold or my back from being slammed. 

“If you ain’t want to get your ass beat again I suggest you move on.”

I looked around Rodney and saw Khelo standing there with his fists clenched.

“Nigga who you?” Rodney spat.

“Who am I? I’m someone who can’t stand a lil nigga who put they hands on a female. You out your empty ass mind slamming her like that when she got your damn seed in there!”

I saw Rodney’s face soften. He looked back at me with an apologetic look on his face. I snatched out his grip. Khelo started to walk away and I ran after him.

“Khelo!” He was trying to get away from me but I wanted answers! “Kehlo! Khe! Stop! Khelo!”

“What?” 

“Why are you ignoring me now?”

“Look, I don’t told you I ain’t no good for someone like you..”

He walked away leaving me speechless. Why does he keep telling me that? 

I really need answers.

Rodney:

I mean, I know I ain’t been the best lately but I love Lizzy, and I hope she knows it. I can’t loose her.. I don’t why I been so violent lately. It’s scary as shit..

I’m not gone give up on us though.. She having my baby.. I’m gone be the best damn dad ever.. I ain’t never had my dad around so I know how that shit is.. This new guy though, I don’t like him. Why he always gotta be around now? Ever since the party he been in the way. I hope he don’t think he can just swoop on in and play daddy. That shit ain’t gone happen. That’s my seed and I will be in his or her life. I’m gone stop fucking up. I need to get my shit together and fast.

I can’ believe she really having my baby though.. It’s incredible. I know that I ain’t no where near ready but I got to man up.

First on my list though, I’m getting me my girl back. It sounds impossible,I know.. But there’s no way she lost all her feelings for me.. You can’t just stop loving someone.. Not her. Not when we have a baby on the way. I don’t know what she has on her mind being around Khelo. Everyone knows he’s no good..How could she want to be with someone like him over me? I mean, compared to him I’m a saint..  I don’t know, maybe she doesn’t know? We’ll I can fix that real fast..

He ain’t no worry of mine. I’mma get me my girl back. Guaranteed 

“Rodney, what’s wrong?”

“Nothing. Just got a lot on my mind is all.”

“Is she gonna keep the baby?”

“Yes, Brooke. Ain’t no way she giving up my seed.”

“Are you gonna leave me for her?”

“Brooke, I don’t know. Okay. There’s enough on my mind for me to be thinking about relationships”

She sighed. I know that’s not what she wanted me to say but I was being honest. Ain’t that what’s important?

“I should get going..”

“You mad now?”

“No.. It’s almost time for Jade’s bedtime. She still needs a bath.”

“Brooke..”

“What?”

“… Is being a parent hard?”

“It’s worth it.”

She smiled at me and picked up her shoes and bag. She didn’t look back. She just left.

I like Brooke, a lot. I do. But Lizzy and me are just unfinished.. I can’t let us go.  Not right now. 

I  will get her back. I will.

I know the perfect way to do it, too.

Belle:

I was waking down the halls with Lizzy talking my ear off when I spotted a flyer on the wall. I smiled.

“Bell are you even listening to me?”

“Huh? Sure..”

She gave me the look and sucked her teeth at me.

“What you looking at?”

I pointed to the sign on the wall and smiled. Sort of hinting at her.

“A stupid school dance. So?”

“So? What do you mean so? We have to go!” I said doing a little jump.

“Why?” I frowned at her. “Belle why should we go to some lame dance. No guys will even go think about asking me.”

“What about Khelo? You two seem to be getting along good?”

She shook her head no.

“He don’t like me.”

“What? He seems to be around a lot lately for him to not like you..”

“He told me he didn’t want to hang out or anything anymore… but he always seems to be there when I need him. He keeps telling me that he’s not someone I want to get mixed up with.”

I don’t know how she doesn’t know? I mean, well he was in Troy’s little clique.. then when stuff happened, Troy and the boys kind of shut him out. That’s the only reason I know. 

“Look, maybe you should just give him time. He’ll tell you when he’s ready.”

“Or you could just tell me now..”

I shook my head no at her.

“Lizzy, obviously there’s something he likes about you.”

“Why?”

I nodded over to where he was standing watching us just a few feet away.

“Cause he steady coming around. “

She smiled when she saw him. It was cute.

“Should I..”

“Duh.” I gave her a little push and she stumbled over to him. 

I hope he tells her soon. What he has to say might scare her away forever.. 

She needs to be happy. She has a lot going on and it’s just not the time for her to be sad or lonely.. Rodney better stay out of the picture too. He lost not only her but my respect.. 

As my role of her best friend, I will do whatever it takes to make her happy.. 

I wanted to be nosey but I let them have their moment.  I smiled at Lizzy and waved bye. I still needed to walk halfway across the school to get to my locker to get my math book. When I got to my locker, Rodney was standing there. He looked like he was lost in thought.

“Uhg. What?”

“Look, I know you hate me but Lizzy doesn’t. Okay? I need you to tell her to talk to me.”

“No. Rodney, move.”

“I ain’t moving until you agree!”

“No.”

“Dammit Isabelle!” He gritted.

“What you gonna put your hands on me too?”

He eyed me like I was crazy.

“I love her. No matter what you like or don’t, she loves me too. And I will have her back.”

“Whatever. Get out of my way.” I shoved past him and got into my locker.

I just prayed things were going good with her and Khelo and that Rodney was dead wrong. I mean, I understand that they have this bond because of the baby but she has to know that she really is no good for her. I mean I’m pretty sure she knows that but, I just hope she leaves her emotions out of this and uses her head like she should..

Khelo:

I saw her standing there with Troy’s ex Belle. I couldn’t help but to stare at her. It looked like they were talking about something serious. When Belle saw I was starring at her she nudged Lizzy over to me. I wasn’t sure why I was starring but I couldn’t help it. 

“Uh, hey.”

“What’s good, ma?”

“So you’re talking to me now?”

“Look sorry, aight?”

“Whatever you owe me some answers.”

I sucked my teeth at her. As far as I’m concerned, I don’t owe her shit! Like why do I have to explain myself to her. I ain’t asking her all types of questions and shit. 

“I ain’t owe you shit.”

“Whatever.”

It made me mad because I felt like she was about to give up on me or some shit. 

“Na don’t act like that..”

“Then why do you keep telling me shit like you’re some horrible person? You can’t just say shit like that and not expect me to ask questions! I just want to know why the fuck you keep saying it! Why do you keep pulling away? Why!?”

I understood why she had questions, I just don’t want to give her answers. What I tell her should be enough!

“Hello? Why-“

Before she could say anything else, I grabbed her face and crashed my lips into hers. I deepened the kiss a little and pulled away.

“That’s why” I said short before walking away. Damn. Why I have to get my feelings caught up in this?

I didn’t look back at her. I knew she was standing there dumbfounded. I felt bad but I just don’t trust her enough to open up that much. People around here are all talk. They know shit about what really happened. The only one who really knows is me. Fuck what they got to say on the matter. They may think I’m this bad person, and I guess I really do, too. But they lie about what they think they know. That pisses me off. If they would give me the minute to actually explain they might understand a little. But they all fucks and don’t care to listen except when it comes out as straight bullshit.

I knew sooner or later she was going to need an answer on why I kissed her though. I do owe her that. To be honest, I been dying to do that… 

I just need some time to think. I got way too much on my mind right now. I may not be the perfect person, and yeah I do have a history like everyone else but I know for a fact that’ I’m better than that lil nigga who steady put his hands on her. He out the picture on this one. He ain’t even in the race when it comes to me. The only reason he trying to be around is because of the baby. Even then, I’d still be a better dad again better than him.. 

I better get my shit straight though. She does deserve some type of answers.. 

thirteen:

Elizabeth:

“Really.. there’s really a little one in there?” Belle asked rubbing my belly. 

“Yep.. ” I sighed. “Rodney’s baby is really growing in here.” I didn’t mean to but I rolled my eyes.

“Look, with or without him that baby is going to have a great life!”

“I wish I thought the same.. When I saw him with that pretty girl last night I wished this baby would disappear.” I really didn’t mean to say that. The look on her face made me realize just how nasty it was. “I mean.. I just.. I don’t care that he doesn’t want me. But he better be in this baby’s life. My baby will have it’s dad!”

“Well, I’m sure he’ll come around. He’s probably just as scared as you are..”

“Yeah. I mean.. I just wish I could rewind time. I love him already.”

“Wait, him?”

“Yeah. Him. I want a boy” I smiled. “I wanna name him Joseph.  Joseph Lee.” 

“Oh my gosh” She giggled. “That’s really cute. What if it’s a girl though?”

“Hmm. I don’t know. Haven’t really thought about it.. I’m just really hoping for a boy.” 

I know I’m young and believe me, I know I’m dumb but I know I’ve got to face the facts. I did this on my own and I do plan to be the best mom ever possible.

Last night it was rough. It was damn sure stupid. But meeting Khleo though. That was nice.. I know I wasn’t trying to give him the time of say but when he stood up for me and when he helped me escape the crowd. It was really sweet. I wonder if I’ll ever see him again.

My dad  texted me earlier saying he needed to talk to me so I’m waiting for him to come pick me up. I guess we’re going to lunch. I’m not sure what he has to say and I;m not sure I want to know. I’m a little nervous.. I know it’s probably about the baby. We haven’t even talked about it yet.. That’s not a conversation I want to have. I really don’t want to give him all the details.. Especially who the father is. I hid it for so long.. It’s just not something I want to talk about. How am I supposed to tell my dad that my brother’s best friend knocked me up then went and found another prettier, thinner, better girl to hug all over. It makes me feel like shit. It’s certainly gonna make me look like a bigger fool than I already am..

“Belle..”

“Yeah?”

“Do you see me any different?”

“Of coarse not.. Everyone makes mistakes, Lizzy. But this is more like a blessing.”

“It just seems like I was loosing you to your new friends..”

“Boo, those are my new friends.. but you, you are my best friend. You always will be.  I’m gonna be by your side through all of this. I promise.”

“I can’t believe it.. in like eight months I’m gonna have a little one in the world. I don’t know what to do about school though.. I mean I’m only a freshmen..”

“You can do it Lizzy. There’s always online. There’s a lot of options.. You can do it.”

“Thanks. It’s nice to hear something supportive. My dad hasn’t really said anything to me since we found out… he told me we need to talk though.. I’m pretty nervous.”

“Well, the hardest part is already done..”

“Yeah. I just know it’s gonna get harder these next eight months. I’m gonna get huge.”

I pouted and sighed.

“Shut up! You’re a twig.. You need some meat on them bones!” She laughed.

I laughed and smiled at her. She always knows how to make me feel better. I wished we could spend the whole day together but my dad just texted me saying he was almost here to get me. 

“Wanna walk me out?”

“Sure” She smiled. “Come on.”

She helped me off the bed and we walked downstairs. I hugged her tight and just as I was walking out the door my dad was pulling up. I took my time walking to the car. When I got in he didn’t even look at me. He probably hates me.

“Where you wanna eat?” He asked me finally breaking the silence. 

“Don’t matter anywhere is fine..”

“You want AppleBee’s?”

“Okay..”

He turned the radio up and we didn’t talk the rest of the way there. When we parked he got out and walked ahead of me. I rolled my eyes and sped to catch up with him. The hostess walked us to a booth in the back.

“Elizabeth..”

Oh no. He means business.. He never calls me Elizabeth unless he’s really serious.

“Yeah…?”

“Well, I made you an appointment”

“For what daddy?”

“To get that thing taken care of.” He mumbled eyeing down at my stomach. 

“That thing is my child!”

“You a damn child!” He gritted.

I rolled my eyes at him.

“I ain’t having no abortion..”

“You don’t need no baby right now Elizabeth. You damn fifteen years old!”

“I don’t care. I’m having this baby and I’m keeping it.”

“Elizabeth..-“

He got cut off by his phone ringing all obnoxious.

“Yea? Yes… I am.. Wait.. what? Okay..How? I’ll be right there!”

He hung up and looked as if he was going to cry.

“Daddy?”

“Call big Paul.”

“Why?”

“Cause you going over there for a little.”

“No I’m not. Tell me what is going on!”

“No.”

“Dad!”

“Your brother is in the hospital okay..”

Gabbi:

Me and Mikey had the best night last night. We actually didn’t even go out. We stayed in the whole night… no not like that, we went back to my house and we talked about everything. I just let him vent on everything he needed to. He sounded much better after we talked.. It was kind of surprising that his daughter is pregnant.. What was even more shocking is that he wants her to get an abortion.. I mean.. I understand that she’s young but an abortion is really traumatic for a teenage..Well, so is having a baby, but still. It’s her body and I believe she should make her own decision. I understand that he’s her father and he wants what’s best for her but maybe having this baby and growing up is what’s best for her.. 

I didn’t tell him how I felt on it. I don’t really have any say on it anyway. He’s her dad.

I feel like we really have been connecting lately. He so much more grown up than he was in high school.. I think I’m really growing some feelings for him.

I’m not so sure he feels the same way though. It kind of scared me.. I don’t want to go down that road again. I had the biggest crush ever on him in high school but Rae was always in the way.. I don’t want to just jump down his throat now that I know she’s not..

I hope this doesn’t make me look weird.. It’s just I finally get my chance with him after all these years.. I want him so much.. It feels weird to say that. 

I want to call him but.. what if I shouldn’t? 

I was gonna go into the kitchen to get some icecream when there was a knock on my door. I hurried to answer. When I opened the door my heart stopped.

“Trey.. what.. what are you dong here? The.. The restraining order..”

“Fuck the restraining order! You’re my girl Gabs.. I love you..”

“When a person loves someone, they don’t hit them, Trey! You need to go.”

He walked in and I smelled the alcohol on his breath.

“You’re my girl Gabbi! My girl! If I ever hear of you spending time with that nigga I’ll kill you both!”

“Get out!”

He walked in and cornered me. I didn’t know what to do. My body froze.

“Do you hear me? You my girl. Right?”

I nodded and started to cry. He rested his hands on my hips and started to kiss my neck. I was more than repulsed but I felt helpless. I started to pull down my shorts and I couldn’t help but to cry harder. I wanted to cry out for Michael..

—

I laid there shaking as he laid asleep next to me. I was cold but I was too scared to move. I didn’t want him to wake up. I felt gross.. I thought he was out of my life forever..

I thought I had finally escaped his abusiveness.. putting me down, yelling at me.. I thought I could finally be happy again. I cried silently trying to not wake him. I wanted to just disappear right now. He nudged me and I nearly jumped out of my skin.

“I’m hungry” I rolled my eyes and got up off the bed. 

I went to put on my clothes and he snatched them out of my hand.

“Ain’t no one tell you to get dressed.”

I fought back my tears and walked into the kitchen sneaking my rob with me. I was beyond freezing. I slipped it on and sat on the couch for a minute.. My mind was jumbled.. I was in my thoughts when I heard footsteps behind me. I turned around only to be yanked up off the couch. I felt a hard slap come across my face. I instantly started crying. 

“I told you I was hungry. What the fuck you sitting down for? What you dressed for, too? Take that shit off and go cook.”

I flew from his grip and rushed into the kitchen. I didn’t know what to make so I threw together some grilled cheese. 

“Here.. here you go…” 

He looked at the plate and mugged me.

“Fuck is this shit?” He slapped the plate in my hand and the sandwich flew across the room. “I said I wanted food.”

I went back into the kitchen.. I didn’t have much food… Usually I eat out. I didn’t know what I was going to make him but I knew I better think fast….

Ty:

I been calling Gabi all night. I just want to see her.. I need someone to talk to. 

Drew’s real bad right now. He got shot twice.. He’s still laid up in the hospital and Bitty, she’s ignoring me.

Damn. I need someone to talk to. I feel like I’m gonna explode.. Bitty’s passed out in the bed with Drew .. it’s late I know I should  get her home.. Big Paul was at the house so I figured I would drop Bitty off and head to see Gabbi.

—

“Gabbi! Gab! Open up!” 

I been knocking on her door for a few minutes now and she been swerving the fuck out of me.. Did I do something or?

I heard footsteps and she opened the door. She looked sad.. lie she been crying her eyes out..

“Bae..” I went to kiss her but she dodged it.. “Did I do something?”

“Michael.. I.. I can’t see you anymore .. okay.. Just.. Just please go .” 

She frowned at me then gave me a smile. She mouthed ‘sorry’ and closed the door. Something was wrong… 

I’mma figure this shit out, watch..

Shit’s been too wrong. I ain’t about to loose her too.. Fuck that..

chapter twelve:

Elizabeth:

This wasn’t in the plan. This isn’t what was supposed to happen. I was supposed to be smarter than this. I was supposed to be better than all of these statistics.. 

Now I’m a statistic. A fifteen year old, four week pregnant statistic. 

I’m mad at myself. Mad at Rodney. I know better than to get caught up in the moment- So does he. I’ve tried calling him a million times.. I just want to tell him that we’re.. well, that I’m having a baby- his baby. Obviously he doesn’t want to talk to me and that’s fine. I don’t care. He will be in his child’s life though. My kid will grow up with both it’s parents loving him or her. 

I just can’t shake the fact that he might be up in bed with another girl telling her all the things he told me. Whatever. I’m going out tonight. Belle invited me to a party tonight. I didn’t tell her that I was pregnant. Not yet anyway. I just want to enjoy a night of freedom tonight and worry about all the real life problems tomorrow. 

I know I’mma be loosing my figure soon so I decided tonight I was taking full advantage of what I’m working with! I had on some short denim shorts and a leopard half shirt. I even went all out to curl my hair. I mean, I wasn’t the prettiest girl in the world, but when I actually took the time to get ready, I looked pretty damn good. 

My dad went out earlier so I just texted him to tell him that I was going out. I really needed to get out and get things off my mind anyway. Since I was ready and just waiting on Belle, I decided to try calling Rodney once more. I waited ring after ring after ring for him to answer. He didn’t, like I expected. I was mad and decided to take my frustrations to twitter. I opened the twitter app on my phone and typed away. 

‘it’s okay little one. we don’t need anyone who don’t need us. you’ll be loved regardless. mommy loves you already.

#singlemomprobs’

I closed the app and sighed. I didn’t really care who thought what about what I was posting. Belle texted me telling me she was outside. I grabbed everything I needed and left locking the door behind me.

I walked outside to see she finally had her car. I smiled and got in.

“You ready to finally have some fun sicky?” She laughed.

She had no idea.

“Yes. I missed hanging out with you like this. Look at you sporting your own ride now”

She smiled.

“Well, I’m beyond ready to have some fun with my best friend!”

We small talked all the way to the party. When we pulled up to the house my eyes got really wide. The house was huge! I could only imagine how nice it looked inside. We walked in arm in arm. It looked like a lot of people from school were here. We made rounds and said hi to people we knew. I was on the way to the kitchen to get a drink when some guys tried acting cute.

“Damn ma. Slick as shit” I looked at him like he was crazy.

“As if. Get a life.”

He was cute, yeah. But his child ass pick up line made him ugly. I rolled my eyes at him and continued into the kitchen to get a drink. Just one wasn’t gonna hurt me. When I walked in, what I saw tore me to pieces. It made me want to cry my eyes out.

I really am seeing Rodney hugged up with some gorgeous blonde girl. He looked at me like I was some stranger. I grabbed a cup off the counter and kept eye contact as I downed the drink. Him watching me drink that made him mad. He marched over to me like he was my dad. He grabbed my by my arm and yanked me to the corner.

“What the fuck, Lizzy!”

“What?”

“What was that tweet about?”

“If you would have answered your phone you would know.”

“Well if that shit is true why are you here drinking?!”

“Don’t worry about what I do. I’m no longer your concern. Go back to your pretty little blonde over there.” I walked away and didn’t look back not once. On my way out I grabbed another drink. When I walked into the living room everyone was dancing. I smiled. One of my favorite songs was playing. Nice and slow by Usher. I took a sip of my drink and started dancing where I was. Nothing much just swaying my hips back and forth. After a few minutes I felt someone come up behind me and dance with me. They rested their hands on my hips and followed my hips to the beat. I turned around to see who it was and it was the guy from before who tired to hit on me. I sucked my teeth at him and pulled away.

“Where you going? To good to dance?”

“Look, I’m sorry. I’m just not interested. Okay?”

He gave me a look that said ‘yeah, okay’. I walked away to try and find Belle. I heard her laughing and followed the voice. Someone snatched my arms while I was walking and I thought it was that guy again. I turned around and it was Rodney. I rolled my eyes.

“What?”

“Who you think you are dancing with some nigga up in the party like you don’t know you having my child!”

“Rodney, you’re here with another girl. Stop. We’re over. Done. As for me- us, we’ll be fine without a low life like you crowding our lives.”

What I said was mean but I never expected what he was about to do next. He rushed me back into the wall and grabbed my wrists tight.

“You better watch that mouth. As long as you having my baby, I’m gone be right here.” He let go of me and shoved me a little before he walked away. I was shocked. He’d never been violent with me. Ever…  I walked away and looked around. I can’t believe no one saw that.. I tried to hold back my tears but they kept coming. They fogged my eyes and I was having a hard time seeing. I put my head down and just kept walking. I ended up bumping into someone. I looked up and of coarse it was the same guy who tried to hit on me. 

“Look at you- damn you aight.”

I wasn’t gonna lie. I shook my head no. He grabbed my hand and lead me upstairs. I figured he was taking me to a bathroom to freshen up. Nope. He took me to a room and sat me on the bed. He pulled out a box and opened it. I looked over and saw the box was full of ready blunts. He picked one out and put the box back away. He lit it and took a long drag before handing it off to me. I only smoked once before this but, fuck it. I took it from his fingers and took an overpowering hit. As soon as it hit my lungs it killed me. I couldn’t stop coughing. He handed me whatever he was drinking. I couldn’t even stop coughing enough to grab the drink. I started to flail my arms and I accidentally knocked the drink all over his shirt. I took a big breath and caught my breath back. He was just starring down at his shirt.

“Oh my god. I am so sorry…” 

“Na, It’s cool.” I watched him get up and rummage through drawers to find a new shirt. When he took off his dirty shirt my eyes grew wide. His body had it all goin on and then some.  I guess he caught me starring cause he chuckled at me.

“Guess miss to good to dance likes what she sees.”

I rolled my eyes.

“Lizzy. You can call me Lizzy.”

“Khelo.”

The door opened and I was still sitting on the bed While Khelo stood up shirtless. I’m sure this didn’t look to well.. and of coarse it was Rodney at the door.

“So you leave and come fuck this dude? What the fuck is your problem.”

I could smell him from where I was. Ew.

“You’re drunk. That’s my problem. Leave me alone.” 

He stumbled in and yanked me up by my shirt. He pulled me out to the hallway. 

“Aye man!” Khelo came rushing up to us. I swore he had fire in his eyes. He tossed Rodney to the floor.

“You aight?”

“I’m okay..” 

Rodney stood back up and pushed him back harder. Khelo turned around and punched him once. He hit the ground and I took off after that. I didn’t want to stick around for any drama. I rushed back downstairs. Belle ran to me frantic.

“God! I thought I lost you. Are you okay? Where were you? What happened?”

“Nothing, I’m fine. Can we go?”

“Yeah. This is a little to wild.. Come on. Let’s go.”

She grabbed my hand and we walked out to her car. 

This was a really bad idea to come here. It’s like everything since school started was a bad idea. I need to get my head on straight…

 

Rodney:

She having my baby.. she really having my baby.. How the fuck is she gone be having my baby and be all up in a room with some other nigga?

I ain’t gone lie. It hurt to see her dancing with him and shit. Guess I really don’t have any room to talk.. I came here with Brooke. It don’t matter.. I ain’t ready for a kid.. I wouldn’t be a good dad anyway. 

I knew it was wrong to grab Lizzy like I did. I was drunk. But when he came at me like that, I was blindsighted. He just came at me. Who is he to hit me anyway? Whatever. She can have that nigga. I got Brooke. 

“Baby why you so quiet.. did I do something wrong?”

“Na. You good, Brooke. I just got a lot on my mind.”

“Do you love her?”

“What?”

“That girl. You love her don’t you?”

“Na. She old news.”

She rolled her eyes at me. I know I didn’t sound too convincing but oh well. I’m hungover as fuck right now. I have work at two and it’s already almost one. 

“I gotta go..”

“Where you going?”

“I have to go pick up Jade then take my Grandma to the Doctor.”

“Aight…”

“Call me later?”

“I’ll call you when I get off tonight.”

She leaned over and kissed me before leaving.

I know I said that she was better than Lizzy and she wasn’t drama and all that other shit but.. I kind of missed all of that. I missed her and the little things. Before last night I didn’t care.. But seeing her with that guy really got to me. I felt like I had to fight for what was mine… Not that she ever was mine or anything. I should have made her mine while I had the chance. 

I sighed and rolled over in bed. I didn’t feel like doing anything. I just wanted to lay around for the rest of the day.. I know it was short notice but I didn’t care- I’m calling off today. I need the rest.  

“Hello?”

“Yeah, Lois.. I’m not feeling good today.. would it be alright if I took today off? Nick said he needed some extra shifts anyway.”

“Sure hun. Just rest and feel better.”

“Thanks Lois.” 

God. What’s wrong with me? I was just feeling in this sort of funk. Like, miserable. I need a drink.. or six, or eight. 

I opened my twitter and it was still on Lizzy’s tweet. I rolled my eyes and closed it out. What they fuck, man. I lost my best friend and a girl who meant a lot to me. I just can’t believe it’s my baby she’s having.. I don’t want no kids. I wish I could go back in time and wrap my shit.. 

I just need to get everything together. My life a mess right now.. I just wish I had someone there to listen when I need to vent. Like right now. Having all this shit swimming in my mind is driving me crazy. It’s so overwhelming.

Why does everything always end up complicated?

Khelo:

I didn’t even get her name.. 

She was heavy on my mind. I didn’t understand why either considering that I barely know her. I mean, I’ve seen her around school before. She really is gorgeous tho. 

Last night was uncalled for. Homie steady putting his hands on her like she his property. It pissed me off. That’s one thing I can not stand. I seen enough of that bullshit when I was growing up. I couldn’t stop it then, but I will damn sure stop that shit now. 

I kept picturing her pretty ass face.. I hope I  can see her again.

My dog Rocco jumped up in bed with me and started barking. He was telling me he was hungry but I already knew that shit. He stay hungry. I laughed when he started jumping all over. I got up and went to feed him. I was on my way to the kitchen when there was a knock at my door. 

I opened it to see it was my P.O Nelle.

“Hey, Nelle.”

“Boy don’t hey me. You done missed two meeting already.”

“I just don’t see why I need to be going anymore..”

“Khelo, you .. well we won’t go over it again. You know what you did. You’re lucky they didn’t lock you up on spot. Get it together.”

“Yeah, yeah.”

“Next Wednesday.”

“I have school..”

“I know. After school. Four-ish. Be in my office. You can’t run from what’s already done Khe.. You got to face it head on.”

I nodded hoping she would leave.

“See you later.”

I shut the door and rolled my eyes. I don’t want to deal with my past. I don’t. It’s not fair.

All I want is to move on and be happy again.. wonder if that will ever happen again..

I wonder what my ma would say? I mean I’m doing good  as hell for myself. Taking care of this house, my job and I’m doing better than I’ve ever done in school. I mean I understand why she don’t want to have nothing to do with me. She listens to all the bullshit. If she would just listen to me she might understand what really happened that night.. Shit but no one understands. No one will listen. That’s why I stick to myself and screw all the rest. 

One day though. I’mma be happy. I will. I just need that one person to understand…

just one..

Chapter eleven:

Bitty:

After puking the entire weekend, it was an understatement to say I was over being sick.. I can’t even eat. After fainting out in the kitchen this morning my dad made me a doctors appointment. So, yay. I’m missing another day of school. It’s my freshman year of school and I’m already so behind. Things feel like they been going downhill lately. I haven’t even talked to Rodney since Friday afternoon. It makes me sad. I mean, I know he’s busy working and picking up double shifts but it really feels like we’re drifting apart. I tried calling him probably fifteen times today. He didn’t answer not one time.. not even a text back. 

Lately, I’ve been really in my feelings for no reason. I think it’s because this flu is really kicking my ass. I’ll be so happy to get back to normal! I hate being cooped up in bed like this. I need to get up and do things- It’s just that I really have no energy at all.  On a lighter level, though my dad has been home a lot more lately. It’s nice to have him around instead of in and out of town every other day.. It’s just really nice.. I mean especially since Drew has been gone. He left Friday to ‘handle business’ and he hasn’t come home since. My dad keeps telling me not to worry too much- that he’s growing up and he needs his space.  Even though he hasn’t been gone long, it’s still really weird without him. I feel like I actually lost one of my best friends..  Well, speaking of, Belle… She’s been with her new friends all weekend. She’s been tweeting pictures of them and tagging them in every update she’s made on facebook. Looks like I’m loosing her to. Why do I fell so alone? …

See! There I go- all up in my feelings again.  I can’t do this anymore. I just feel like crying my eyes out.  I know it’s because I’m irritable from being sick, but gee. How bad is this going to get before this bug passes?   Soon I hope. I can’t stand being like this for much longer. It’s been a few weeks, but even just a few more days is going to drive me crazy! 

I think I’m thinking too much. Time for bed.. 

Ty:

Man, something fishy been going on with Bitty lately. It all seems so familiar. I just couldn’t seem to put my finger on it- that was, until a little bit ago when it hit me.

She’s pregnant. 

Rae was the exact same way with Bitty and Drew. I mean, I could be wrong. Shit, I hope I’m wrong. I’d prefer if my fifteen year old daughter doesn’t have a baby. 

—

It’s a little after six in the morning.. I been up thinking about Bitty all damn night. I was trying to get comfortable when I heard her get up and run into the bathroom. She was moaning and groaning the whole way there. I was gonna just let her be but I needed some answers. I got up and waited outside the bathroom. When she opened the door she looked at me confused for a few seconds. She tried to walk past me but I stopped her.

“Bitty?”

“Yeah?”

“Are you.. are you pregnant?”

Her eyes got really big and her look of confusion got worse.

“Wh-what?”

“You been having sex?”

“Only a few times…” 

I sighed and rubbed over my face. I was sick to my stomach already just hearing the little she had told me. 

“You use protection?”

“We forgot once. But it was just one time!”

“Dammit Bitty! It only takes one damn time!” 

I stormed off before I would say anything I would regret. I really can’t believe this. First, my son leaves. Takes his ass MIA - And now, now my daughter might be pregnant. Like, damn. Am I really this bad of a father? How do I not realize that she’s been having sex in the first place? 

I felt bad for storming off but with all honesty, I have nothing to say to her. I don’t even want to see her face.  I don’t know what to do.. Should I punish her or stick by her side and tell her everything’s okay? 

I wonder who the dad is.. Is he a good guy? Is he gone there for her? Damn Ray, why you have to leave a nigga? I could really use your help right now, no lie. 

What if she’s not though? What if it really is just some stupid stomach bug.. well, if she’s not at least I know in time to get her ass on some type of birth control.. I should have know she was gone start shit when she started bringing boys around.. I mean, I guess we’ll find out what’s really going on with her at the appointment later on. I wonder if she’d keep it? Damn. I have so many questions.. I wanna knock the stupid out of her, tho. Like how stupid can she be to let some lil nigga hit raw? She should know better! Why the hell didn’t she come tell me? I’m her dad.. the one who takes care of her and protects her and the one who has always been here.. why would she keep that hidden? I can’t dwell on these questions… I shouldn’t have jumped to conclusions, either.. Damn. Her little ass is probably scared shitless right now.. Well, actually. Good. She should be. If she got some nigga’s baby in her she should be scared out of her empty ass mind! 

I can really tell how I’m really feeling.. I go back and forth from feeling mad to sad then back to mad again.

I guess I at least try and go back to sleep..

—

“Dad..” 

I felt someone shaking me but I was sleeping so good that I didn’t even want to open my eyes. 

“Dad!”

“What? damn.”

“It’s almost one.. I have my appointment in half an hour.. “

“Yeah, yeah. I’m up” She rolled her eyes at me and left.

I’m tired and aggravated. All I want is answers, that’s it.

She was quiet the whole way there.. not that I wanted to really converse or anything. I knew she was mad, she had the right to be but I had an even bigger right to be mad! When we pulled up she just sat there. It was like she didn’t even want to move. 

“Let’s go!” I yelled shutting my door. She rolled her eyes at me again and got out slamming her door. She walked on ahead of me storming into the doctors office. If this the start of her pregnant attitude, I can only imagine the next nine months.. 

She checked herself in and I sat down. She sat down next to me, surprisingly. She was looking around aimlessly. She looked as if her mind was going a mile a minute. I felt bad for her, but in the end, the only one to blame is herself. 

I was off in my own thoughts when I felt her grab my hand. I looked over at her and she looked worried. Her sad little face melted me. I sent her a smile and held her hand tight. She may have made a mistake, but she’s my baby girl. She always will be.

“Elizabeth. Elizabeth Stevenson” The nurse called for her. She sighed and stood up. She was still latched onto my hand. She looked back at me.

“Come on.” I was surprised she wanted me to go back with her.. 

Guess this was the moment of truth..

Gabbi:

Ever since I saw Mikey at the bar the other night, I can’t seem to get him off my mind.. I mean, after the wild night that we had, who would be able to? I hadn’t seen him since high school and I finally got to tell him that I had the biggest crush on him.. I never had the chance with him tho. He and Rae were attached at the hip. It’s crazy what happened to her.. At least he got two beautiful kids out of the deal.. It’s weird. I’m twenty-nine and I haven’t had any serious relationships, no babies no nothing. Just me and my wild child life. I wouldn’t mind getting with Ty.. Not one bit.

I’ve been wanting to call him.. I honestly figured he would be the one calling me. Maybe I should call him? What if he doesn’t want to talk to me, though? I mean, I don’t really want to be left hanging high and dry. He can’t just tease me after one wild night together.. I took a deep breath and put the phone to my ear as it rang.. I pulled it away and checked the time real fast.. 8:04. Not to late. 

“Yea?”

“Uhm, hey Mikey”

“Oh shit, what’s up Gabbi?” 

“Not much. Haven’t talked to you since that night..”

“I know, I wanted to call.. I really did. But, things got a little crazy over here..My son is MIA and I’m not even gonna begin to explain what’s been going on with my daughter.”

“I’m sorry. Sounds like it’s been a rough few weeks.”

“You have no idea..” He chuckled and it brought a smile to my face. He had the cutest laugh ever! “How you been though?”

“Uh, alright. Not too bad..but, uhm.. what are you doing tonight?”

“Absolutely nothing.”

“You wanna go get a few drinks? Maybe blow off some steam, Get everything off your chest?”

“You know what, I do..”

“Really?”

I was surprised. I thought he would say no! Yay for me!

“Yeah. Where should I meet you?”

“Well, you wanna start at Mel’s?”

“Aight, see you in like thirty.”

“Okay. “

I hung up the phone and jumped off the couch, I was a mess! I had just showered a little bit ago so I just had to do my hair and make up. I was going to go all out, too. 

I opened my closet and knew what I was wearing before I even opened it. I pulled my favorite red dress off the hanger and laid it out on my bed. Gypsy my little Pug jumped on my bed and laid on my dress.

“Gypsy get your little ass off my dress. Mommy has to get ready!”

She barked at me and wagged her stubby little tail. She watched me as I curled my hair. I swear she loved to watch me get ready. My long brown hair hung down my back. It was still warm from the curling iron. My make up is what always takes forever. I skipped the foundation since my face was pretty clear right now. First thing was the eye liner. 

After about fifteen minutes for my make up it was time to finish dressing. I slipped on my red dress and stood in front of my closet debating which shoes to wear. I decided on my black pumps. 

I looked over my out fit and was pleased. I looked pretty good if I must say so myself. 

Just as I got in my car, Mikey was calling me.

“Hey. I’m on my way now.”

“Aight.” 

I hung up and sped down the road. I would be running late for our first date. Well- if you considered this a date.. 

When I pulled up to the bar, he was leaning up against his car. My god did he look good. I would rather just take him back to my place.. No, no. I can’t think like that. This is why my relationships never last. It’s always about sex with me.. Ty had his sex game on lock though.. Damn. 

Weather we ended the night in my bed or not, which we probably would, I was still about to make the best out of this ‘date’..

Rodney:

She’s so beautiful when she’s sleeping..I combed through her hair as she slept on my chest. I was tired as hell from working all day but I feel like if I fall asleep I’ll miss this perfect moment. This felt, right- perfect. 

“I should go..”

Damn.. I could have swore she was sleeping.

“Why? Just stay for a little. My ma’s at work.”

“But Jade is with my Grandma still. I miss my baby.”

“Come on Brooke. Just stay for a little while longer..” I kissed her neck and she giggled. 

I know how this may seem, but ever since we had lunch at the diner, we been talking every day. She comes over every day after work.. I never realized how much we really had in common.

She got up off my and stood up… still naked. I starred at her body hard. For having a little girl at home, her body was right as fuck. I bit at my lip watching her stretch.

“Damn..”

Oops. I didn’t mean to say that out loud..

“Boy, chill. Where are my panties?” She laughed, causing me to laugh. 

I shrugged.

“Probably on the stairs.” 

She sucked her teeth at me and walked off towards the stairs. She came back with her thong in her hand. She slipped back on her dress and shoved her panties in her purse. She leaned over the bed and kissed me. 

“Bye.” 

“Bye. Tell Jade I said hi.”

“Okay” She smiled.

“I’ll call you later.”

She waved at me and was gone.

Things were so much easier with her. There was no secrets, no sneaking around. It wasn’t complicated at all. Things were.. perfect. She makes me laugh and I’d be lying if I said I didn’t love spending time with her.

I know I shoved Lizzy to the back burner but, I was over all the secrets. I want someone I can show off. Besides, now that me and her brother aren’t talking anymore, there was no way I could see her. Things were just far too complicated for me. I want easy, smooth. No drama, just fun. 

I should tell Lizzy I’m seeing someone else.. But, I don’t know how to just break that kind of news to her.. I mean, I took her virginity. She’s bound to have some kind of hold for me. I know it.. I just don’t feel that same spark. When we first started fooling around it was fun. I think the chase is what really had me going about her.. Once I actually had her , it wasn’t the same.. But, I know she’ll probably never understand. 

I rubbed my hands over my face. I was ready to get up and shower but my phone buzzed with a call. Of coarse it’s Lizzy. She’s been blowing my line all the way up. I decided not to answer.. I don’t have the energy to explain all of this to her right now.. Not when I have to be up at seven for work. 

I let it to voicemail and hopped in the shower. I need time to think of what I should say to her.. I don’t want to break her heart but, honestly I’m feeling that’s inevitable at this point. Like damn, tho. She ain’t my wife. Why do I feel so bad? …

Khelo (key-lo)

Gabbi

POSTING IN A FEW.  

THESE ARE TWO NEW CHARACTERS THAT WILL BE BROUGHT IN :)

chapter ten:

two weeks later:

Drew:

The past two weeks, I been making mad money. I love working with Scar. He’s a cool dude. I know Rodney was mad at me when I took the deal, but he don’t understand. He just don’t have the ambition that I do. 

i haven’t been home much lately. My dad has been asking a lot of questions but I avoid them the best I can. Besides, with as much money as I’ve been making, I could move out on my own.  The school sent home two letters last week saying I wasn’t going to class.. I just sent them to the shredder though. I don’t need my dad on my back anymore than he already is. He just doesn’t understand that I’m not him. I know for a fact I won’t end up the way he is. The people love me..  I ain’t gonna gain no enemies. 

Part of me really wants to tell my dad what I do so he can really understand why I’m never home. I mean, come on. How the hell am I supposed to explain all this money I got stashed up in my room. 

I ain’t talked to Rodney much since he dropped me off that day. I knew he was pissed. He’s probably just jealous because he knows I’m better at slangin than he is. He knows I always put in more work than he did. It’s whatever though. I heard he’s been spending a lot of time with some girl. 

Tonight, Scar said he wants me to pull a special job for him. I’m pretty excited to see what it is.. I mean shit, of coarse I’m gonna do it. For 30 g’s who wouldn’t. I’ve never made than much ever. . I’mma get me my own spot with that money.. I know my dad is gonna question it and not be happy at all.. but once I really tell him what I actually do, he’s gone kick me out anyway.. Might as well take shit into my own hand first. Besides, I’ll be better on my own. I’m not a kid anymore and I’m tired of living under someone else’s rules. It’s time I take hold of my own life and steer it in the direction I want. I mean, in all honesty, my dad started younger than me. So if he gets mad at me, he’s only being a hypocrite. It’s my life and he shouldn’t have a problem with the way I live it. Ain’t no one judging him. 

I had to watch my little sister right now, but later on, I was out to make me my money. 

“Drew, when is dad coming home?”

“I don’t know”

“What’s your problem lately?”

“I don’t have a problem. Go do your homework.”

She rolled her eyes at me and stormed upstairs. I don’t have the time to be nanny McPhee. I have money to make and I’m stuck here. I mean I understand that Bitty is scared to be alone and all since what happened but damn. I have a life, too. 

Whatever. Soon, I’ll be out of here and on my own..

Elizabeth:

Drew has been so annoying lately. He’s mean and he’s always gone. I don’t get it. He don’t need to take his stank mood out on us.. I don’t feel good today and I just want to lay with my dad. Ever since I woke up my stomach has been in knots. Drew being mean to me isn’t helping at all. I mean, we used to be really close and it just seems like I hardly know him at all. It sucks. I used to feel like I had a best friend type relationship with him now I feel like he’s a stranger. 

“Daddy” I whined into the phone. “When are you coming home?”

“Soon, baby.. you still not feeling to good?”

“No.”

“I’ll bring you home some soup okay?”

“Okay, daddy..”

“You want me to pick up some movies too?”

“Yes!” 

He laughed into the phone.

“Aight. See you soon”

I hung up the phone and laid back on my bed. I really hoped I wasn’t getting sick. That’s the last thing I need. I’m so proud of Rodney though. He got a job! A real job. The only bad thing is now he’s always working.. He wants to take me out this weekend though. I’m not sure how that’s gonna go. It’s not like I can just casually say I’m going out with him- although I wish I could. Maybe things will change.. well, in all hopes anyway. 

I’m feeling so awful right now all I want to do is sleep. I got up off my bed and shut my door and turned off the light. I crawled back into bed and buried myself under my covers.

—

The next time my eyes opened I was rushing out of bed to the bathroom. I didn’t have much in my system but what I did have was being thrown up. I felt so groggy. What ever bug I had really needed to hurry up and pass. I hate being sick. Once I was able to stop I crawled back into my bed. I checked my phone and it was only a little after six. I still had time to sleep.. I really just wanted to stay home though to be honest.. Just as I started to get comfy again I felt it coming back up. I barely made it to the bathroom. I must have some type of stomach flu or something. And it was more than kicking my ass. I turned around to go back to bed and I ran into Drew.

“You aight?”

After how he was treating me yesterday I really didn’t have anything to say to him. I brushed past him and went back to bed. He must have told my dad I was sick because a few minutes later, my dad came in to check on me.

“Hey baby..”

“Daddy can I stay home today.. I think I have the stomach flu.”

“You wanna go to the doctors?”

“No, no. I just want to rest.”

“Okay. Well go to sleep. I’m free all day so I’ll be here. Just let me know if you need anything.”

I smiled at him and nodded. When he left I snuggled down into my covers. Hopefully I can go back to sleep now. My stomach was in such knots that it was keeping me up. I gave up sleeping and turned on TV. It was already on life time so I just left it.  

Six movies and hours later I still felt like shit. I had zero energy and my stomach was in worse knots than when I woke up. Hopefully this would be gone by tomorrow.. I’ve been holding my pee for the past half hour. I’m feeling so lazy I don’t even wanna get up. I’ve been peeing every ten minutes though. It’s getting old. Maybe it means I’m just  flushing everything out of me. 

“Bitty?”

“Yeah daddy?”

“You wanna eat something?”

“No. I’m okay daddy. Could you bring me some more water though?”

“Yeah. Sure.”

He walked in and grabbed my empty glass from the table.

“Be right back”

I smiled at him and cuddled down. A few minutes later her came back with my water.

“I think I’m just gonna go back to sleep.”

“Aight. Just make sure you let me know if you need anything.”

“Okay, daddy.”

“Good night baby. “ 

I took a sip of my water and turned over in my bed. I really just want to get better already.

—

Today was Friday and I was feeling a little bit better so I figured I would just go to school. We only had half a day anyway. 

When I got to school I didn’t have any energy. I just wanted to get my make up and get through the day. Belle was comforting me all first class. I had my head down the entire time. I thought about giving up and going home but I needed to stay. 

“So what’s wrong with you?”

“I don’t know, Belle. I think I have some type of stomach flu. I’m tired, I’m always throwing up. Plus I’ve been peeing like crazy. I guess I’m trying to flush everything out of my system.” I shrugged.

She nodded.

“That sounds awful. I’m sorry, Boo. Hopefully you’ll get better soon.”

“I know. This is taking so much out of me.”

“I bet.. so, a few people want me to go to lunch with them today. Want to come?”

“Uhm, sure.”

“Cool.” She smiled at me.

I really didn’t want too, but for her, I will. Besides, I miss her. 

The next class took forever, of course. But after awhile, I was kind of excited to go to lunch. We walked across the street from our school and went to Captain Murray’s. One of the best fish restaurants in the city. I wasn’t hungry so I wasn’t planning on eating. Once we walked in my stomach started doing flips. They all ordered and I sat at the table trying to keep from getting sick.  When they brought back their food I was beyond feeling sick. 

“So, Belle, this is your best friend?” One of the girls asked.. it was surprising how many new friends she’s made…

“Yeah.. she’s..” She looked over at me and must have see that I wasn’t doing to well. “Uhm, Lizzy are you okay?”

“No!” I pushed away from the table and ran outside for some air. The fresh air was good. It felt really good. My stomach was on another level right now, though. Belle had come outside to check on me. I felt so bad. I felt like I had totally ruined her lunch..

“Boo, you okay?”

“No.. “

“Come on, let me grab my food and we’ll go.”

“No, no. I don’t want to ruin your lunch. I’m just gonna go to the nurse.”

She sighed and looked back towards the diner.   

“Belle, it’s okay. Really. Go eat and I’m gonna go see the nurse.”

She hugged me and walked back in. Just before she walked in she turned around.

“Text me, boo.. Oh, and do me a favor?”

“Yeah?”

“Go to the doctors. Okay?”

I nodded even though I didn’t want too. I walked back into the school and went to the nurses office.. I need to go home..

 

Rodney:

“Yeah, sure Nick..”

“Thanks, man.”

I just picked up another shift. I mean I don’t love my job, but the moneys going to be good.. Gas station clerk- that’s what I am.  It sucks. I’ve been working late hours and I’m too tired for school in the morning and I’ve barely seen Lizzy at all.

Me and Drew really haven’t talked since the visit with Scar. My friend told me he’s already working pretty deep with Scar. It’s whatever though. At least I’m off today.. I just want to relax. I was hungry and I knew Lizzy was at lunch so I decided to ask her if she wanted to go to lunch.

“Hello?” She answered groggy. 

“Babe you sleeping?”

“Yeah. I think I have the stomach flu..”

“Damn, I’m sorry baby..”

“It’s okay.. I just been throwing up a lot.. we wen’t to Captain Murray’s and I got sick to my stomach. I’m tired and all I want to do is lay around.”

“Damn. I’m sorry.. I wish I could go take care of you.”

“Me too.” I could tell she was pouting.

“Well, let me get off your line so you can sleep.”

“Okay.”

“Love you..”

We’ve never said it casually like that.. but it felt so right so I said it..

“Love you too, baby.”

She hung up the phone and I sighed. Guess I go eat something by myself. I decided to go eat at the Diner. I walked in and accidentally knocked into someone. I guess I knocked into the person a lot harder than I expected because they fell to the ground. When I realized what had happened I panicked. I saw it was a girl from school.

“Damn.” She spat looking up at me with a mug. 

“I am so sorry. Brooke, right?”

“Yeah” She she smiled when she realized it was me.

I helped her up and she dusted herself off.

“So what you up to?”

She lifted up a bag of food in a to go box.

“Going home to eat.”

“Well, shit. I was gonna eat. You wanna stay and eat with me?”

“Sure” She smiled again.

“Hey Rodney, baby!” The owner Maria said.

“Hey Maria!” I turned back to Brooke. “Pick a table. I’m gonna order.”

“You want your regular, baby?”

“You got it Maria.” I laughed. 

“Alright. Carl, number four, hold the toms!”  I laughed and paid her. I went and sat where Brooke had picked. 

“So, Rodney. How you been. Haven’t seen you lately.”

“I been alright. Just got a job at Korner Mart. “

“Really. That’s great!”

“It’s alright. It’s money.” I chuckled. 

She nodded. I guess I never realized she was a really pretty girl.

I was so happy when Maria brought me my food. I was starving! I started to dig in. I guess I had forgot I was sitting with Brooke cause she cleared her throat as I was going in on my food.

“My bad. I haven’t eaten all day. “

“It’s okay.” She giggled. “Oh, hold on. That’s my phone.”

“Hello? … Grandma.. what? What’s her temperature?  Did you call the Dr? Okay. Be right there.” She looked up from her phone and had an aggravated look on her face. “Sorry, Rodney. I have to go. My daughter has a high temperature..”

“Want me to give you a ride?”

“Sure. That would be nice. Thank you!” She tossed her food and I wrapped up mine.  

We got in my car and it was slowly starting to rain. Guess it was lucky that I was driving her. Her house was about six blocks away. When we pulled up she couldn’t thank me enough for the ride.

“Good luck with your daughter.”

“Thanks.” She hugged me and ran inside. I won’t lie I starred a little too hard as she ran…

She was a pretty girl. I had no idea she had a kid though.. I would go nuts if I ever had a kid. Screw that. I ain’t no where near ready to have a kid.. shit, i’m still a kid myself..

For some reason, I feel bad for eating with Brooke.. I feel like I was out on a date. I mean, me and Bitty aren’t together.. I don’t know. I feel like I did wrong though. Whatever. What she don’t know won’t hurt her.. right?

chapter nine 

Ty:

After I met with Nino tonight I wasn’t really ready to go home. Well, I guess you could say I wasn’t really in the right mindset. I was pissed as hell that I had to start working for Nino. All my hard work for these past years are all down the drain. Fuck it- I need a drink. I took a left and pulled into the parking lot of a Hookah Bar. Paradise Nights. I used to spend a lot of time here when I was younger. Me and Rae were here like every weekend. I parked my car and headed inside. I walked in and it looked the same.. The smell brought back so many memories. I walked in and went straight to the bar. 

“Lemme get a Bacardi on the rocks.”  The bartender nodded at me and turned to make my drink. He smiled as he set it down in front of me. I took a deep breath before I downed the drink. It burned like crazy when it went down. “One more”. 

He handed me another and I was only going to sip this one. I need to be able to drive home. I needed a blunt. Badly. I was off in my own little world when someone sat at the stool next to me. I sucked my teeth when they nearly knocked me off my stool. 

“My bad..” 

I turned and wasn’t going to reply until I seen it was a familiar face.

“Gabrielle?”

She turned towards me with a stank look on her face. She gave me a second look and her eyes got wide.

“Mikey! Oh my god!”

“Hey now chill with the government.” I chuckled.

“I haven’t seen you since we graduated!”

“Yeah. How you been?” I asked finishing the rest of my drink. 

“I’m.. Well, I mean I can’t complain. I been pretty damn good.” She smiled in my face. 

I wasn’t gone lie, she was looking good as hell. She sure grew up.

“What about you? How have you been. How’s Rae?” She smiled even bigger.

As soon as she asked that, My heart sank. I hadn’t realized she probably had no idea. It had been that long since she’s been around. I swallowed hard. I was grateful for the drinks that I had just had.

“Uh, she passed away a while back..”I rubbed the back of my neck nervously. I don’t know why I was nervous..

Her smile faded and she looked confused.

“Oh..Oh my God. I’m so sorry Michael..”

“Hey. What I tell you about using my government.” I chuckled trying to lighten the mood a little. “No, but It’s alright. We been doing good.”

“We?”

“Oh, yeah. I got two kids.”

Her smile returned again.

“Awh! I bet you’re a great dad!” She said resting her hand on my forearm.

“I try”

If she actually only knew what the fuck I put my kids through.

“You look really good, though” She smiled and eyed me up and down. 

Shawty wasn’t too bad herself..

“Thanks. You want a drink? Oh.. my bad. I guess I should have asked if you was with someone…”

“Na. Just out with my girls.. and I would love a drink.”

“Aye lemme get two more”

The bartender nodded. He had our drinks to us right away.

This was gone be a long night..

Drew:

I didn’t sleep worth shit last night.. All I could think about was my dad. I just wanted him home safe. I wanted everything to go back to normal. It was after noon and I didn’t feel like getting up out of bed. I had to check on Bitty though. She’s probably been up for hours. I tossed the covers from over me and sat up letting my feet hang off the bed. My stomach grumbled. I got up and walked downstairs. Bitty was sitting in the living room wrapped up in her blankets. I bet she’s been waiting there all morning. That must mean dad ain’t home .. I went in and sat next to her on the couch. She was watching some girly movie. 

“You hungry?”

“No..”

“Bitty you haven’t eaten.. you need to eat.”

“I’m not hungry Drew.”

I sighed. Shit, I was. I went into the kitchen and poured a big ass bowl of fruity pebbles. I went in and sat back next to her. 

“Can we watch something else, please?”

“No! I was up first.. Plus, it’s almost over so just wait.”

I rolled my eyes and started in on my cereal. I guess I was going in on it cause she was starring at me.

“Drew, it’s cereal. Damn. Chill.”

I laughed and went back to eating. I wasn’t gone lie, I was staring to get into whatever movie was on. 

Just as I was finishing the bowl of cereal our front door opened. I stopped in my tracks and Bitty starred over at the door. 

I’m sure we were both smiling from ear to ear when we saw our dad walk in.. It wasn’t a good feeling at all to know that when he left last night it could have been the last time we ever saw him. Bitty jumped off the couch and flew into his arms. I laughed when she nearly knocked him to his feet.  As soon as he walked in the door, I realized why he wasn’t coming home until now. He reeked of booze. Shit, who can blame him tho, I drink the night away too if I escaped death, or whatever… 

I wanted to ask so many questions.. But I knew if, and I mean if he was going to tell us at all, we surely weren’t going to get all the details.. All that really mattered though was that he was home safe.. With all hope, things will go back to the way they were .. Just seeing that my sister was back in better spirits was making me feel a lot better, too. My phone started playing Rodney’s ringtone in my pocket. I walked into the other room and answered it.

“Hello?”

“Yo, D..”

“What’s up?”

“Your dad come home?”

“Yeah, everything’s alright now..”

“Good.. cause we got some good business today..”

“Man, I don’t think so..”

“Come on.. Just help me out on this.. It’s big money.. plus, we have a meeting.”

“A meeting? With who and what for?”

“You’ll see.. Just meet me at the park in like an hour.”

“Fine..”

“That’s my nigga..”

“Bye”

I didn’t want to do this. I wanted to be done with the whole thing. I mean I know I’m not in it as deep as my dad is but, what if when I’m older my enemies come after my family? Fuck that.. I guess I’ll just do this last one with him today..then I’m telling him I’m done.. I don’t want any part of it anymore.. It’s gone be hard. But I think it’s time to really grow up and try to get me a real job.

Elizabeth:

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve thanked God in the last hour since my dad came home.. I was so happy to see him walk through that door. He wouldn’t tell me what exactly went down last night. He said I just need to be grateful that he came home. And I mean, I am. I really, really am but- I’m just really curious to find out what happened. He didn’t seem scared when he left yesterday.. I wonder if he was scared.. I would be. I’m strong and I can, will, and do handle my own but if I knew I was walking away from my family to go die, I would be beyond scared.

I can’t help but to think if Drew is worried.. what if he ends up in the same predicaments? I mean he sells drugs, too. He could just as easily gain enemies just as my dad.. I started to worry a little for him when he left earlier.. He left in such a hurry. I hope one day he and my dad both grow out of all this. I wonder if my dad even knows that Drew is selling drugs.. 

I’m so tired.. I feel like I didn’t sleep at all last night. Even though I never wanted to go back, tomorrow I had to go back to school. It was going to be really weird walking around with a big bruise on my face.. Maybe I could work some magic with my make up. I don’t really feel like explaining myself to anyone..

My dad had to run some errands so I was stuck at the house alone. It sucked. Belle was at school and Rodney was with Drew. I’ve been laying on this couch all morning watching movies. It was nice to just lay and relax though. 

I just hope things stay good now..

Rodney:

After dropping six G’s to our friend Max, we had a meeting with a guy named Scar. I heard about him from one of the guys at school. He works for Scar.. he said he sells everything.. everything! Not to mention he’s pulling in about two- three grand every day. Shit. I could get used to that.. The only thing I wasn’t too sure on was the side deals.. I guess Scar has some of the guys who works for him to out the people who do him wrong.. I don’t know about all that…

We pulled up to his house and a guy came to the car asking what we were doing. He let us in the driveway when he found out we had a meeting.. Drew still had no idea what we were here for. I just said business. The same guy who lead us up walked us inside, too. 

“Scar will be right with you”

I nodded and he walked away.

“Rodney what the fuck is going on?”

Before I had the chance to answer him Scar walked in.. well I was guessing that’s who it was..

“You two come with me.”

We followed him to an office. He shut the door behind him. He took a seat behind the desk.

“So I hear ya’ll wanna work for me?”

I nodded and Drew stood there confused.

“Well, ya’ll are new, so you’d only be pulling a few G’s a week.. Ya’ll would be selling my molly.. it’s good shit straight from Brooklyn.. you come when I call and you work the hours I give.”

I wasn’t really feeling this so much.. But Drew looked interested..

“Can we get back to you?” I asked hoping he wouldn’t get mad.

“Of course..” He handed me a card. “Here’s my number. I want an answer by next week.”

We both nodded and left. The ride started out pretty quiet. I didn’t have much to say.. I had a feeling Drew was really thinking about this.. I was really hoping he wasn’t going to do it..

“I’mma do it.”

“What?”

He must be crazy.

“Rodney, This good ass money.. besides, Molly is what people are looking for. Besides, this is a damn good opportunity. Better than selling green. Man people are moving up with they interest.”

“Well you in on this alone ..”

“Fine.. “ 

I tossed the card at him. I really can’t believe he wants to do this … If it’s what he wants, I sure as hell can’t stop him. 

I hope he knows what he’s getting himself into. This really ain’t no shit to play around with. It’s real business. Even after what his dad just went through, he still wants to do this? I know I can’t control him and I shouldn’t be letting this get me but it is. I was hoping when I told him he was on his own he would back out. I don’t know why I took us there in the first place..  I really do regret it. All I can do is hope he understands this is big deal.. This is grown man shit.. He better be ready..

I dropped him off at home and just started to cruise. I had too much on my mind and I didn’t want to spend any more time with Drew. He was really on my nerves. 

I pulled up at a red light and checked my phone. There was a forward from my cousin Shane. He’s throwing a party tonight. Just what I need! It was only around three so I just decided to go home and sleep.. I’m planning to get pretty fucked up tonight and I’m gonna need my rest…