gosh one of my biggest pet peeves is when a person says they’re going to do something then doesn’t. if you change your mind, fine! but let me know that you changed your mind. dont leave me hanging there-especially when YOU made the plans to begin with. i’m getting soo tired of shit like this. it’s exactly why i would rather sit home and do nothing. fuck all of you honestly. it’s time to move on.

it hurts to find out what a friend really thinks of you. 

i never meant to be that way, and i’m sorry. it hurt my feelings to read that. it made my heart drop. i don’t think i’ve ever felt so low. 

i don’t know why it stung so bad, i mean i guess i should have realized. 

i’ve never had someone make me feel like such an awful person like you did tonight.

you made me fee like i shouldn’t have friends, or better yet that i don’t deserve them. 

i feel like no amount of apologies will fix things. ever. 

I worked my ass of for four years to graduate. I finally finished school & now it’s like I don’t even deserve to get my special day. everything is so much more important than my graduation party. I don’t mean to sound selfish, but I straight up worked my fucking ass off to graduate. & now that it comes to planning my party everything else in the world is so much more important. I’d just rather not have one at all now. Screw it. Sorry my accomplishments are an inconvenience to you. I know for damn sure when I have kids and they graduate, they will get there day and more because they deserved it and worked there ass off for it. Thats the difference between you & I, I care and will go all out. You, don’t care about anything unless its helping you.
Dear future kids of mine,
When you graduate, or do absolutely anything else to make me proud, i WILL go all out for you. No if ands or buts. Because I WILL be an involved supportive mom.

chapter sixteen:

six months later:

Elizabeth

I can’t sleep worth shit tonight. I have school in the morning and it’s after midnight. Guess that’s what I get for sleeping all damn afternoon- not to mention Joseph making my belly all big and uncomfortable. Six, about ready to go on seven months but I still look cute. I’d kill to still be able to sleep on my stomach though. Let me just be grateful that I’m still able to sleep in the first place. I rolled over onto my left side from my back and snuggled into my blanket. I just can’t believe how fast these six months have gone by. So much has happened.. Gabbi moved all her furniture into storage and moved in with us. I actually really like her. Not to mention I love how happy she makes my dad. That’s what really matters. On a not so high note, Drew and Rodney got locked up. My dad won’t really tell me why though.. It must be serious. It’s been pretty quiet around here though. It’s different, but I guess it’s better for Joseph that it’s nice and calm. I don’t want him growing up in a hectic household. My dad even got out the game- for good. That makes me feel so much better, and safer. I know he went through a lot, but he did it some how.  

I hate nights like this where I can’t sleep and I just lay here and think. I’m surprised Khelo hasn’t called yet. He usually calls me every night. These past six months with him have been really great. He probably just fell asleep or something. I mean it’s probably good that I actually try and get some rest and not stay up on the phone all night. Right? … It’d still be nice to hear his voice though.

—

When I woke up, I was still tired. I didn’t want to get out of bed let alone be awake. School was gonna take forever. I checked my phone and I still didn’t have any message or calls from Khelo so I decided to call him myself. 

“Hello?”

“Goodmorning babe.”

“Morning..”

“You still picking me up?”

“Yeah. I gotta go, see you soon.”

He hung up and I starred at the phone confused. I shrugged it off and got out of bed to get ready.

About an hour later, I was decent enough to go outside. It was just one of those days where nothing looked good on me. I was sitting in my kitchen and heard Khelo beep his horn. I rolled my eyes and grabbed my bag. It was pretty windy outside so I did my best to run to the car. When I got in he was quiet. He seemed a little out of it. I mean, did I do something? He’s never acted like this. I leaned over for a kiss but he ignored it. 

“Well good morning to you, too.”

“Morning.”

It shocked me, it didn’t even phase him..

“Are you mad at me?”

“No..” He sighed.

“Did I do something wrong?”

“No Lizzy.”

“Well talk to me. What’s wrong? You didn’t call me last night, you didn’t want to talk this morning and now you won’t even kiss me?”

“It’s nothing.”

“Obviously it’s not. Look just pull the car over, I’ll walk the rest of the way.”

“You’re not walking.”

“Well I want out of the car. Pull over”

He didn’t say anything after that, he just kept driving. When he parked I got out of the car and sped off as fast as my belly would let me. 

“Lizzy..”

I ignored him and kept walking. He didn’t want to talk then, well I don’t want to talk now. I don’t need all this right now. I really can do without this stress. I was so caught up in my thoughts I didn’t realize he had caught up with me. He grabbed onto my arm.

“Lizzy, stop.”

“Leave me alone right now.”

“No. Look, I’m sorry.”

“Whatever.” I pulled my arm away from him and kept walking into the school. 

After my first class, I felt a little better talking to Belle. She was just as confused as I was. I rolled my eyes when I saw him waiting by my locker. I turned around to walk the other way but he ran after me again.

“Lizzy, stop running from me.”

“Look, I don’t want to talk to you right now.”

“Then just listen.. Yesterday my probation officer called me to check in when she found out about you she wasn’t really to thrilled. She said it just wasn’t the time.. that it was too soon for me to be with a pregnant girl. The courts wouldn’t see it as a good thing.”

“Why does it matter, It’s been over a year.”

“I know, I know.. “

“So are you trying to tell me something, cause if you are, tell me now so I stop wasting my time.”

He didn’t say anything and that was enough of an answer for me. I nodded at him and walked away. I don’t know who I was more upset at, his probation officer or him for biting into it. Yeah, it hurt but I don’t have time to put myself or Joseph through any drama. I guess I’m just going to have to understand that there will always be disappointments in life and there’s no stopping them. But I have something much, much bigger to look forward to now. I rubbed my belly as I walked into class.

When the bell rang for lunch, I wanted to get out of class as fast as possible. Belle had went home early so I was by myself. I didn’t mind too much right now. I just wanted to be alone with my thoughts. 

I put my headphones in and decided to go into the library instead of the lunchroom. I turned the corner from my class and ran right into Khelo.

“There you are.”

“Here I go” I tried to walk away be he stopped me.”What Khelo?”

“I wasn’t trying to say I didn’t want to be with you Lizzy, because I do.. I just thought I was over all of this bullshit and now it’s all coming back. Like I’m some monster who should never be with someone, let alone someone with a kid on the way.”

“Well I don’t think you’re a monster, okay? And you have to learn to ignore what other people say. Look at me.. I’m walking around here with a big belly and I don’t care what anyone says about me.”

“Lizzy, you don’t understand. I killed my girlfriend and my son because I made a stupid decision to get drunk and drive. That shit will never leave my conscience. It’s always gonna haunt me where ever I go.”

I cupped his face in my hands.

“Khe, what really matters is what’s inside, the person you are now- not the person you were that day. Because these past six months wasn’t with the monster you keep trying to call yourself. These past six months were with someone who stayed by my side through morning sickness, sleepless nights, doctor appointments, late night cravings, my moods, everything. If you’re a monster for anything, it’s for spoiling me. Okay? I don’t care what those people think. I know that I care for you way too much to even consider hearing what they have to say.” 

I kissed him and pulled him into a hug. He hugged onto me tight. Even my big belly wasn’t a match for that hug. I really hated that he cared so much about what others thought. 

We stayed hugged up for awhile. It felt nice to really care about someone and not have to hide it, not have to sneak around and be in the dark. I loved having him by my side and holding his hand in the hallway. I know it sounds cheesy or whatever but it’s the truth. It felt good to be in a relationship that was genuinely good. He’s not my mr. right now, he’s my mr. in it for the long haul. Nothing was changing that.

I was having really bad stomach pains after lunch so my dad said I could go home early. Before Khelo took me home, I went to my last two classes to get the make up work I’d be missing. 

“Babe I got to take a piss. I’ll be right back.”

I nodded at him as I looked over all the homework I had just picked up. I leaned up against the lockers across the hall from the bathroom so I could put the homework back into my folder. I looked up from my backpack for a second and was shocked- so shocked that I dropped all the papers.

“Baby, you miss me?” 

“Rodney..”

He stepped forward a little and laid his hand on my belly.

“Wow. You got big..”

I honestly really couldn’t believe what I was seeing right now. He looked so different thought. He was scruffy looking. He looked so much older. For some reason I felt really threatened by him.

“What are you doing here?”

“They let me out.. I’m finally out. Five months in there. It feels so good to be out.”

He stepped closer to me and I tried to back up but all I did was back up into a wall of lockers. I winced a little.

“Baby you okay?”

“Stop calling me that..” I whispered. 

I was really hoping Khelo would hurry up. I heard laughing and I looked around Rodney and saw Khelo walking out of the bathroom talking to some guy.

“Aight, I’ll catch you later Matty… Lizzy.. Everything okay?” He asked with a raised eyebrow.

“Yeah we’re fine here bro” Rodney answered casually. 

I nodded my head no.

“Baby will you help me pick this up.”

“Yeah” They both answered at the same time. Khelo chuckled when Rodney looked at him confused. He pushed past him and helped me pick up my homework. I stuffed it in my folder and he grabbed my backpack. 

“You ready?”

“Yeah.”

Rodney looked so confused. It’s like he forgot we broke up long before he got locked up.

“Lizzy what’s going on?”

“Rodney, what are you confused about? We broke up a long time before you got locked up. Remember Brooke?”

“But that’s my baby” He said pointing at my belly.

“Na. That’s my baby” Khelo said grabbing my hand. “Let’s go babe.”

“The fuck did you say?”

Khelo chuckled and clenched his jaw a little. 

“You ain’t been there through the morning sickness, the appointments, not shit. What’s she having? What’s she naming it?”

“Yeah, aight. You been there through all that and you know the answers.. but you sure you can handle this? You sure you ain’t gone kill them too?”

I could only imagine how mad he was because I was steaming. If I didn’t have this big belly right now I would have jumped on him.  I saw Khelo tightening his fists.

“Khe, no.” I grabbed onto his arm. “Baby let’s go”

He nodded.

“Lizzy..” Rodney said quietly as we started to walk away.

“What?” I snapped.

“What are the answers to the questions..”

“Boy. Joseph.” 

I was not expecting all of that and if I thought my stomach was hurting then, it was really hurting now.

Khelo:

I know what I said to him was fucked, but that little nigga took it way to far. I can’t afford all that drama right now and neither can Lizzy. But what I said, I meant it. That baby was mine in my heart. I been there through it all this far, and I ain’t going no where. I’m gone be the one in the delivery room, not him. 

What Lizzy told me though, really meant a lot. I always thought she’d let what everyone else said about me get to her. Turns out I was letting shit get to me when I had nothing to worry about. She’s my rida. Ain’t nothing gonna change that. 

“You want something to eat?”

“No. My stomach is really upset.”

“Aight. We almost home.”

“Khe..”

“Yeah?”

“Did you mean that.. do you really feel like this baby is yours”

“Yeah. I do.” 

“I wish it was yours. Then that idiot wouldn’t still be trying to push his way into my life.”

“You ain’t even got to worry about him. I think he understands.”

“So, if he’s out, do you think they let  Drew out, too?”

“Maybe.. Guess there’s only way to find out..” 

She nodded and sighed. I mean, this girl had never really lived a normal life. Her dad was one of the biggest dealers around, her ma died when she was a baby, she got knocked up young. But, I’m not one to judge. I got a past, too. 

“You staying over tonight?” She asked leaning over to rest on me.

“Yeah. I got an appointment though. So I’mma drop you off and go. But I’ll be back.”

“Oh. What’s the appointment for?”

“My P.O. She wants to talk.” I shrugged. “I’m tired of talking to her.”

“I bet. Just remember what I said Khe.” She said poking my sides making me jump.

“Aye crazy. You trying to get into an accident?” I asked laughing.

She just smiled at me. We pulled up to her house and I pulled over to let her out.

“Bye babe. I’ll be back soon.”

She kissed me and hopped out.

When I got to the office, I walked in and sat down.

“Khelo. You’re late.”

“Yeah. Look I got a lot to do.. So..”

“Fine. I’ll get right to it. You need to stop seeing this girl. It’s not looking good.”

“I don’t care. I’m not going to stop seeing her.  You act like I’m some monster. I made one bad decision Karen. One. That doesn’t mean I’m going to make it wit every relationship. I’m finally happy. Finally. Why you trying to mess that up!”

“I’m not.”

“Yes. You are.”

“It’s her parents.. Not me.”

“What?”

“Stormie’s parent’s.”

“Why do they even care!”

“Because you killed her daughter.”

I was done with the conversation when she said that. Done. I got up and left the office. For real? Why do her parents get to bust in my life and wreck shit? I was almost out to my car when Karen called after me. I turned around.

“What?”

“You have another meeting next week.. with them. They want to take you to court.”

I rolled my eyes and kept walking. Was it bad things happen to me day? All I want is to go home and lay with Lizzy. 

—

“Babe. I don’t get this!” She spat throwing her pencil. 

I picked up her pencil and laid it back on the table.

“You’re not even trying babe.” 

She folded her arms across her chest and pouted.

“Can we go watch t.v now?”

“No. Your math is almost done. Come on. Six more problems.” 

“I can’t do this. I’m too stupid.”

“You’re far from stupid Lizzy.”

“Yeah, that’s why I’m almost seven months pregnant at fifteen and can’t even do simple math.”

“You aren’t stupid Lizzy. What is stupid is that you would even consider yourself to be stupid. Yeah, you got a baby on the way, so what. You made one mistake, that don’t mean you’re stupid, it means you’re human.”

“I just can’t help but to think how different my life would be if I never ended up pregnant.”

“You’re gonna be a great mom. Don’t even worry about that. Babies are like a little miracle. It’s crazy how much love you feel for something so small.”

She cracked a little smile and rubbed her belly.

“I guess I’m a little scared and all this home work is really stressing me out..”

“Ain’t nothing to be scared about. Just think about how it’ll be worth it all just to hold him for the first time. His first step, first words”

“What was your sons first word?”

I chuckled.

“Park.”

I always hated talking about Joseph. It killed me inside. It ate me up everyday to know he’ll never grow up and live his own life because I made a mistake.. But I guess the advice I gave her is probably some I should take for myself. I walk around everyday hating the person I am, feeling like such a monster when I made one mistake.. Yeah, it was a huge mistake, but that don’t make me a terrible person. Just like her ending up pregnant doesn’t make her a stupid person.

I guess she could tell that I was really in my thoughts cause she scooted closer and hugged onto my side.

“You okay?”

“Yeah, I’m alright.. just thinking”

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to..”

“No, no. It’s good to talk about him. I shouldn’t lock him away in the back of my mind. It’s hard though.”

“Well, I think you were a great dad. And I think you’re going to be great with this little one, too” She said patting her belly.

She yawned stretched.

“How you tired babe? You ain’t did shit all day!”

She flipped me of and I winked at her.

“Don’t tease.”

“Whatever” she laughed .

A few minutes later her dad and Gabbi walked in.

“Hey daddy.”

“Hey Bitty. What’s going on lil man.”

“Not much. Making her do some homework.” 

Lizzy sucked her teeth at me. 

“Where were you guys Daddy?” she asked sneaking her stuff into her bag.

“Big Paul’s. He had a little party.”

I know she didn’t think I saw here but I saw Lizzy slowly sneaking away from the table.

“Hey where you going!” I asked getting up and rushing after her. I ended up catching her in the living room.

“Khe, please. I don’t wanna do no more tonight.”

“Fine. Don’t think I’mma forget about it. We gone finish it tomorrow.”

“Fine”

“Fine” I mimicked her . She flipped me off again. ” Like I said, don’t tease me” She stuck her tongue out at me and walked back into the kitchen. I followed with her. She stopped in her tracks. We had almost walked in on her dad and Gabbi arguing about something.

“Ty you really acting stupid right now! How are you gonna sit here and tell me you didn’t know about this?”

“Gab, I’m fucking serious right now. I was blind-sighted by all this tonight. You think I’m just  gone hide this ?”

“Well, I don’t really know. Would you?”

“No Gabbi! Fuck!”

I started to talk but Lizzy sh’d me. She sh’d me too loud I guess cause Her dad and Gabbi looked over at us.

“Uh, Lizzy, I think I should be going..”

She grabbed my hand. 

“No, Khelo, you don’t have to leave for the night, but would you run to the store for me?” Her dad asked.

I nodded my head yes. He handed me a 20 and a list. I kissed Lizzy and headed out. I wasn’t sure what kind of drama was going on but I was sure that I didn’t want to get caught in the middle of all that..

 

Ty:

How is this happening right now? How? I thought when I got out of the game I was getting rid of all this drama. I guess not.

Earlier after we went to Paul’s, we decided to get a drink so we went to a little restaurant . We were a few drinks is when some girl came up to me. She tapped me on the shoulder. 

“Wow. Ty, I never thought I’d get to see you again.”

“Uh, who are you?”

“Alexa..”

I racked my brain trying to think. The name sounded familiar, but I just wasn’t able to place her.

“Alexa?”

“Yeah. It was about eleven years ago. You told me your wife had died a few years back.. I was the first girl you’d been with since her.”

It came flooding back. I was at the bar, pretty drunk and just needed someone to talk to. She caught my eye and we ended hooking up. I never saw her after that.

“Yeah, okay. I remember you now. Can I help you”

She turned around and signaled for someone to come over to her. A young boy trotted up.e was a cute little kid.

“Ty, this is Ricky. Your son.”

My heart dropped and the air completely left my body. I wasn’t sure what to do. What was I supposed to do?

“What?” Me and Gabbi said at the same time.

“Yeah. You want a test, we’ll get one.”

“Yeah. I do.” 

I gave her my number and told her to call me. I had to get out of there.

Now, here I am at home and Gabbi don’t believe me that I didn’t know about him..

I don’t know if I should tell Bitty. I know it’s the right thing to do, but I don’t know if I’m up for all this drama right now..

“Dad, what’s going on?” Bitty asked coming up behind me. 

“Uh, Bitty sit down..”

She sat at the table with me and gave me a confused look.

“Bitty, a few years after your ma passed, I had a night with some girl, well tonight she saw me and told me her son was mine. He’s eleven years old, his name is Ricky..”

She didn’t seem to mad, or shocked.. excited actually.

“Really? Can I meet him?”

“You’re not mad?”

“No, things happen, daddy.” She said rubbing her belly. “Look at me..”

“Yeah, you right..”

“Well, if you want me to meet him, I don’t mind. Are you and Gab okay though?”

“We’ll be okay.. She just doesn’t believe that I didn’t know about him.”

“I believe you, daddy.”

“Thanks.”

I don’t know what I was going to do about all this.. But, I know I have to do something.. She’s gone call soon..

riskyfanfic:

That will be May 9th. I have to really study for my Major class. 

as long as you come back. i miss this! :)

Elizabeth:

“What! What happened then?”

I shrugged.

“He walked away..”

Me and Belle were at my house and I was telling her what happened with Khelo.

“So he kissed you and just walked away?”

I nodded my head.

“Yeah. I didn’t see him for the rest of the day.. I just don’t get it. He goes from telling me to not talk to him to kissing me”

I sighed.

“I know he likes you. I mean, that’s obvious..”

“I mean I guess. I just don’t have the time for all that now.”

“Why? There’s always room for one more person who cares about you.”

“I still have to figure out where me and Rodney stand. I mean, he is the father .. I can’t just shut him out of my life.”

“No, but he doesn’t need to be in all aspects of it. Lizzy he’s no good for you. “

I know Rodney is no good for me. I wish I could just shut him out forever but I can’t. He will be in my baby’s life. I didn’t ask for any of this to happen. I’m only fifteen. But I know I did this and I have to take responsibility for it. Things would just be so much easier if there wasn’t a baby involved. 

I guess I just wish I would have really used my head when I thought I “loved” Rodney. I don’t even believe he meant it when he said he loved me. How could he love me? I mean, the way he’s been pushing me around lately and putting his hands on me makes me feel like he hates me, not loves me. 

“Rodney came up to me and told me I had to tell you to talk to him because he loved you and weather I liked it or not, you loved him too and that he was gonna get you back.”

I don’t think I could have had a more stank look on my face. That is ridiculous!

“What!” I rolled my eyes. I have half a mind to call him and give him a piece of my mind. 

“That’s what he told me.. You gonna get back with him?”

“No” I surprised myself with how fast I answered that question. 

I was so mad to hear that. Why does he get to act so cocky. He wants me back so bad but yet he brings some girl to the party and puts his hands all over me. 

He had another thing coming if he thought he was gonna win me back. 

Rodney:

“So you think this looks good?”

“Yeah, yeah. Looks good.”

“Rodney you didn’t even look.”

“Brooke you look great in everything.”

“Whatever. Why you been stuck in that stank attitude lately?”

“Because some little nigga trying to move in and play daddy on my spot. You just don’t understand.”

“No? Cause I only have a two year old daughter. Her dad left too. When he saw I was happy with someone else he came running back like he was dad of the year. You don’t understand, Rodney.”

She shook her head at me and picked up her bag.

“Where you going?”

“Home.”

“Thought we were going out?”

“I don’t much feel like being around you anymore.. Just do me a favor.. think about what you really want. Because if you play with her she gone keep that little one away from you for good. Be there for you baby if you want but don’t play with her. She’s too young for that.”

She walked away and slammed my bedroom door. I understood what she meant. But, why she need some other nigga in her face when she having my baby. She shouldn’t need no one anyway. 

Maybe I don’t get it.. 

I really want to call Lizzy but I doubt she’d answer anyway. I never started feeling like things were confusing and complicated until I got with Brooke. I feel like I have to choose. I don’t want to loose Brooke but if I loose Lizzy I might loose my kid for good. 

I knew she would more than likely be at home so I decided to go over there and talk.. I knew I had to be civil.

When I pulled up to her house I decided to walk on up. I’m not sure if her dad or anyone else knew I was the dad or not but, I had to talk to her. I walked on up and knocked on the door. I heard giggles and laughing. The door opened up to Belle. She was smiling. When she saw me her smile turned to a frown. 

“What”

“I need to talk to Lizzy.”

“No. Go on.”

I saw Lizzy come up behind her.

“It’s okay Belle.. we do need to talk about a few things.”

“Okay.. Well, I’m gonna head home. Call me if you need anything.” Belle smiled at her and pushed passed me out the front door.

I walked in and sat down on the couch.

“Look, Lizzy…”

“No let me start… Rodney, I don’t want to be with you. Not in anyway. I want you to be here for the baby but that’s about it..”

To say that I was pissed to hear that was an understatement. She was what I wanted. Before I did something I would regret I left. I stormed out of the house and jumped into my car. I sped off down the road. Fuck that. Fuck everything. This is a package deal. She don’t want me then I ain’t about to stick around for no damn little baby that I don’t want in the first place. 

When I got home my phone started to buzz with a call.

“Yeah?”

“Yo. You trying to party tonight?”

“Fuck yeah.”

“I’ll hit you up with details a little later.”

“Yeah, aight.”

I was more than needing a few drinks. I was in that mode where I don’t really give two fucks. 

—

When I pulled up to the party it already looked packed. I chuckled when I seen two bitches run out the house in they panties. Oh yeah, I’m about to have a good night.

When I walked in my cousin who was throwing the party. He walked up to me with a drink in his hand for me.

“Here. You got a lot of catching up to do” he chuckled.

“What’s this?”

“Man, just drink it.”

I rolled my eyes and downed the cup of whatever. It was mixed with juice so I had no idea what I was in it. As soon as I brought the cup down from my lips he was handing me another cup. Guess he was really expecting me to catch up to him. I followed him into the kitchen and saw Brooke leaning against the counter talking to one of her friends. I wasn’t sure if I should go over there. I wasn’t sure if after what had happened earlier if we were even still talking. 

When she saw me she smiled. I noticed there was a cup in her hand so I wasn’t sure if she was smiling at me or if it was the alcohol making her smile at me. Either way, it made me smile, too. I was surprised when I saw her walking over to me. I chuckled a little when she stumbled. She ended up stumbling right into my arms. 

“Hey handsome.” She slurred into my chest.

“Hey beautiful” 

She wrapped her arms around my waist and just hugged me for a minute. It was a nice feeling honestly. I think this is why she was so much easier than Lizzy. I don’t have to sneak around with her or watch who’s around when I talk to her. It’s just easier. She was just better, simpler. 

“Come on, let’s go upstairs..” She whispered against my cheek.

“What?” Now I know it’s the alcohol in her talking. 

“Come on, let’s go.”

“Na.. Brooke..”

“Baby come on.” She looked up at me and pouted.

She grabbed me and stumbled up the stairs. I picked her up so she wouldn’t fall.  I took her to the nearest room and sat her on the bed. I was really hoping she would just lay down and sleep this off but I know she had other plans in mind. She grabbed my hands and tried to pull me down on the bed with her.

Somehow she managed to get me down and get on top of me. She started sucking all over my neck. I’ll admit it was feeling good ass hell but I wasn’t about to let things go down like this.

“Brooke, stop.”

“Come on, baby. Just real fast.”

“Na.”

“Baby!” she tired to take off my shirt but I stopped her.

“Na, B. Things ain’t going sown like this..”

She huffed at me.

“You really are leaving me for her aren’t you?” She pouted.  

I lifted her chin so she wasn’t bowing her head. 

“I ain’t  going no where. You sad cause I ain’t trying to fuck you why you all drunk. Chin up. I wouldn’t be in here right now if I didn’t care about you B. But you have to understand that she having my baby and you out of everyone in my life should know that he or she will come first. Just like Jade does for you.”

She smiled faintly at me. 

“I’m sorry” She poked out her bottom lip and pouted. 

“It’s aight. Come here.” She laid down on my chest and hugged me. It was nice that she understands- she’s knows exactly what I mean because of Jade and that’s a lot of help. 

One thing I do know, I’m the father of that baby. Weather me and Lizzy are together or not doesn’t change that. There’s not a chance in hell someone else is gone be playing daddy. Not as long as I’m living and breathing. 

Khelo:

I think I’ve practiced this conversation over and over in my head at least a dozen times.. I think It’s finally time I tell Lizzy the truth.  She’s all I been thinking about since that kiss. 

I messaged her on face book earlier and told her to meet me at this party tonight to talk. I didn’t think she would agree. I was happy she did tho. I know I told her I didn’t owe her any answers, but I do.

I been at this party for about an hour now and no sign of her. I  hope she decided not to come at the last minute. I wouldn’t blame her tho. I was sitting by myself just looking around at everyone when someone tapped on my shoulder. i turned around and saw Lizzy standing there.

“You came..”

“Yeah. I said I would.” She smiled. 

I stood up and pulled her into a quick hug. I Grabbed her hand and took her outside to the front porch. I took a seat on a bench and she did the same sitting next to me. 

“So..” She started breaking the silence.

I had all the words planned out in my head I just couldn’t get them out for some reason. It’s like I just couldn’t do it. 

We sat there for a few minutes quietly. A few minutes turned into ten, then fifteen.

“Well, I told Belle I wouldn’t be long so, just let me know when your really ready to talk.”

She stood up to walk away. I grabbed her hand and stopping her.

“Please. Just sit..” I took a deep breath as she sat down. “I used to have it all. The best friends, the best girl friend.. I even ended up having a baby with her..We had the perfect relationship. Everything in my life was perfect. It was a few days after my sons second birthday. Me and Stormie had been fighting all damn day. I just picked them up from her ma’s house, and I’ll admit, I was pretty buzzed. I wasn’t used to fighting with her so I turned to drinking to deal with it. She was yelling at me cause I was late getting her and we were going to be late to wherever we were going. I lost focused and lost control of the car. The car flipped seven times. We landed in a ditch. I woke up two days later in ICU. I didn’t really remember much. First thing I asked was if I could see them. It killed me when they said Stormie died on scene. My son had died in the hospital just a few hours before I woke up. He had major brain damages. When people heard about it they only heard that I was drunk. Apparently she was talking to some other guy. She planned on leaving me for him. There were messages on her face book and phone. They all said I did it on purpose because I didn’t want her to leave me.” I sniffled. I didn’t even realize I was crying until she had wiped a tear from my cheek.  ”That’s not true. I mean, I would never try and kill someone I loved.”

“I believe you..” She whispered. “What was your sons name?”

“Joseph.” 

Her eyes lit up hugely. Not sure if it was because of surprise or happiness.

“So that’s why you got upset at the park that day?”

I nodded.

“My son meant the world to me.. “ 

I didn’t have much to say after that. Talking about Stormie and my son always tore me up inside. She grabbed my hand and just sat there with me silently. No one has ever really let me explain what happened that night. It always hurt to go back on it but this time, it felt good to just get it off my chest. It was nice to have someone just listen to me and not judge me with every word that left my mouth. Now someone knows the true story.

“So why were you pushing me away?”

“I just thought you would end up judging me like the rest.”

“I won’t judge you. Ever. I promise.” She smiled. “Well. I guess I should go find Belle.” She let go of my hand standing up. I really didn’t want her to go. 

“Wait..”

“What?”

“Well I just didn’t want you to go..”

“Well, I really appreciate you telling me. I know it took a lot for you to open up about it.” I stood up getting face to face with her. 

She looked back and forth from my eyes to my lips. I knew she wanted me to kiss her. I knew I wanted to kiss her.. I just didn’t know if it was the right thing to do.  I moved in a little closer to her. Just as I was bout to kiss her someone busted out to the front porch in a panic.

“Lizzy, you should come get Belle…”

Lizzy let go of my hand and followed the girl back inside. I sighed and sat back down on the bench. A few minutes later Lizzy came back out trying to keep Belle on her feet the best she could. Belle looked a mess.

“God what is wrong with you Belle! Don’t you know better.”

I stood up confused.

“Lizzy what’s going on?”

“Ask stupid over here. Mrs I think I’m grown enough to snort some coke”

Don’t get me wrong, I’ve done my share of smoking and drinking but that’s as far as I’ll ever go. Coke is just a little too extreme for me.

“Here. Give her here.”

“I can’t take her home like this. Her ma will flip and my dad can’t find out I went to a party!”

I picked her up and cradled her like a baby.

“We can go to my house for the night..”

“Okay..”

I was surprised at how fast she agreed. This was gonna be one long night.

Gabbi:

Trey left for the first time since he came. He told me if I tried to leave he’d find out and kill me. He took my cell and my house phone and took a bat to my laptop. It’s like I’m a prisoner in my own home. 

Ty probably hates me by now. He stopped coming by and he stopped trying to call. I just wish he wouldn’t give up on me.

I looked outside my front window and saw a car parked in front. I knew he had  someone watching me. He was too busy on his phone to notice what I was doing anyway. I nearly slapped myself when I remembered my basement. I grabbed my purse although it was kind of useless with no phone and no keys. I rushed down to my basement and shimmied out of the window that lead to my backyard. I went straight to the fence that lead into my neighbors back yard and hopped over. I walked through and got out at the front. I looked around being sure that no on was there. When is was clear I ran. I didn’t really know where I was running to but I ran. It was dark and getting pretty windy. I wanted to go to Ty’s but I figured he wouldn’t want to see me. It was only getting colder though and I was starting to think it was my last option. I was only a few streets away. I think I knew where I was going the whole time…

I walked up and knocked on his front door. He opened it and gave me a stank look.

“Man, what?”

“Ty. Ty, please just listen. Please.”

“Why should I give a fuck about anything you got to say?”

I wiped a few tears away and sighed. 

“Come back with me and you’ll see. I promise. You’ll see.  Please. I really need your help”

I think he really saw it in my eyes that I really needed him. 

“Let me get my keys.”

I nodded and watched him walk back inside. He came back a few seconds later. He even brought a jacket for me and wrapped it around me.

“Where we going?”

“My house.. the back way”

He looked at me confused. I probably sounded insane right now. I’m sure I looked pretty insane too. I directed him the back way and lead in through my neighbors back yard. When we climbed through the basement I heard his voice upstairs. My heart dropped. I could only imagine how mad he was. 

“What’s going on Gabbi?”

“My ex, Trey. He used to hit on me a lot.. I finally got brave enough to call the cops and have a restraining order put on him. It’s been about a year.. Then he came back. He’s been keeping me in my own damn house. He made me tell you to leave when you came knocking. He took my cell and my house phone. He even took a baseball bat to my laptop. For the past week he’s been fucking me until I can’t walk and hitting me around and making me walk around naked. If what I don’t cook him is good enough he smacks me around some more and fucks me some more.”

I could see the anger in his face and honestly, I would be scared to be the one he was made at right now. Before I could say anything else, he was storming up the stairs. 

“Stay here”

I nodded and watched him fade into the dark. I heard a lot of yelling a lot of tussling then I heard two gunshots..

Elizabeth:

When we got to Khelo’s house, Belle was out of control. I was so mad at her. My friend Kate told me she took two lines of coke and popped like ten pills and took only god knows how many shots. I have no clue what got into her. It took us about an hour to finally get her asleep. 

“She should sleep through the night now that her body is starting to come down off the high” He said as we walked into the living room.

I sighed with relief.

“Thank God.”

“Does she always get like this when she parties?”

“No.  She hardly ever even drinks.”

He got quiet after that. I was pretty tired myself so I stayed kind of quiet. I notice he was starring at me. He looked pretty concentrated, too.

“What are you thinking about?” I asked breaking the silence.

“You” He answered simply. 

“Me? What about me?”

“I didn’t get to do something earlier..”

I knew what he meant, but of coarse I went a long with it.

“What’s that?”

He leaned in closer to me and kissed me lightly. Definitely not what I expected. He pulled away smiling. He saw the confused look on my face. He leaned back in.

“Leave em wanting more” He whispered with a little chuckle.

Let me just tell you he had the sexiest voice ever. My pregnant hormones  were off the radar right now. 

I’m more than positive he knew I wanted more than that. I think he wanted me to make the move this time though- so I did.  I leaned in and kissed him definitely harder than he kissed me. It felt so right, too. One thing lead to another and we were all over each other. He was hovering over top of me. If I thought my hormones were off the radar after that first kiss, I couldn’t even explain where they were at now.. I felt like I was ready to explode. I put my hands up to his chest and pushed him off me a little.

“Stop, stop, stop..” I said through breaths.

“Did I do something wrong?” It was kind of cute the way he panicked. 

“No. But if we keep going I’m gonna explode.” He chuckled a little and eyed over my body.

“I ain’t did nothing yet.”

“Yeah, well my pregnant hormones beg to differ..” 

“You don’t even really look pregnant..”

“I’m about two months.” 

He pointed to my shirt.

“Can I?”

I nodded yes. He lifted my shirt and put his hand on the little bump. 

“It’s cute” He said smiling.

“Oh my gosh, no it’s not!” I laughed. “I’m gonna get fat” I pouted. 

“I bet you’ll still look cute tho” I just smiled at him. “Look, you uhm. You wanna head to bed? It’s getting pretty late” 

“Uhm..”

“No funny business. I promise.”

“Okay.” 

He got up and I followed his lead up the stairs.  He went to his dresser and pulled out some sweats and a t shirt.

“Here you go.”

“Thanks.”

“The bathroom is right there.” He pointed across the hall. I nodded and went to go change. The whole time I was thinking how unreal this felt. 

I’m not sure where tonight leaves things. I guess I’ll find out soon though. For right now, I just want to sleep.